tis the season

I am such a sucker for Christmas music. Oh, my goodness. I could/and do listen to it year round.

This year, these are some of my favs:

I love me some good music.

I'm also a sucker for seasonal items. Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash? Hello! Peppermint marshmallows? Too much fun. Thankfully, Jack can enjoy it this year too.

After a pretty sickly last week our fam is on the mend. Our poor kiddo had an ear infection and bad sore throat. Just in time for Thanksgiving. The day before we got him some antibiotics and by Thanksgiving morn he was on the mend. I, however, picked up his little bug and felt pretty poor. These pregnancy immune systems, I tell you what. I've been more sick during this pregnancy with Zoey than I have been since my high school days when I had mono. For reals. Not sure why. 

Our little bird seems to be perched in this strangest of places inside me. I feel like she's lying sideways and often feel little fingers (or maybe toes) in my lower regions and it feels like there is a gang of mice scurrying about. I don't remember this weird feeling with Jack and am feeling kind of stretched in ways I wasn't before. Particularly when she stretches out, which is often. Oh, little one. I do love it, it's just kind of weird. I can't wait to meet her. We saw her last Monday on our 3D ultrasound. She was hugging the placenta like it was a lovey and we could hardly get a good look at her face (every ultrasound she's been in a weird place.) That was okay with me. Through the blurry picture (the camera had to go through the placenta to see her face) I was just thankful to see her. Watch her yawn, see her stick out her tongue and open her eyes. What a wonderful miracle.


Here's a blurry shot of her face. The placenta is right in front of her, but wow. There she is. Alive and well. Praise Jesus. Little eyes, nose, mouth, hand in front of her eye. She's a little person! Getting ready to grace the word with her presence.

Also, Jack has been sick a lot this season. Praying that December and January are infection free. 

Thanksgiving was really lovely. It was spent at my parent's house with my mom's parents, brother and his wife and their little guy. It was so relaxing and I even watched Miracle on 34th Street for the first time. I loved it. What have I been missing out on?

I did miss out on taking pictures because I forgot my camera...and spent most of the day on the couch anyway. Jesus knew that a sore throat may or may not have been the only thing to keep me from eating too much on Thanksgiving day.

I tried to make up for it when we got home.

Who is this little boy and where did my baby go? The below picture is from 2010, not 2011.

John showing Jack how to explore the tree house.

And this is how we spent this morning.  Watching Frosty with friends, in too-warm-for-December weather and loving this moment.

This week was a doozy.

It's been one of those weeks where at the end of it, I look at John and wonder how on earth we got through it? By God's grace only, because there were times I thought, "Yeah, I don't think I can make it through this one. See ya." 

Monday I went in for my appointment and my very kind and loving Doctor, but also a little paranoid and medicine-lovin' couldn't find the heartbeat right away. Which, to me, at 12 weeks and with the very tipped uterus I have, didn't concern me. But she was. That makes a mama concerned. Even at 12 weeks. She tried an old-school machine and we saw our little one, looking as real as ever. "I think that's the heart beat." She said apprehensively after 2.5 minutes of looking. She ordered an ultrasound for 4pm that day. My appointment was at 10:15. Thankfully, I'm used to such run arounds with our caring doc and tried to write it off that she was just being extra cautious and extra kind so that I would have a peace of mind. At 4pm I smiled and waved at my little one as their legs kicked and their heart beat high. Just like her/his mama's. The tech worked really hard to around my pelvic bone and just said, "I just really don't like your uterus." Thanks. I laughed. I saw the heartbeat, the kicking legs and the profile of our newest little one. My heart melted. I feel like it's a girl. I will be delighted if it's a boy, but I have this strange sense that it's a girl. The pregnancy is just so different than with Jack.

Monday night arrived and along with it came a horrible ear infection. Worse than the one I had only 2 months ago. The second one in two months. After six years of not having one. That isn't normal, is it? It was horrendous and after a restless night, a little vomiting and a cute Colin Hanks and John Malcovich movie, I found my ear was actually bleeding. That had never happened before. It was scary. So, I went to an ENT here in town who took me right in (which is a miracle) and he informed me he didn't like my eardrums and that I had a very serious infection. It was bad, ya'll. Like, a hole in my ear drum bad. I still can't hear out of it. He said that should change in about 10 days. Praise Jesus that is over and please, please, Lord help me never to have an ear ache like that again.

My mom and sister came to the aid the next day and arrived with love and groceries in hand. They let me rest and helped with Jack, oh and my mom cleaned out my entire fridge and organized my cabinets. It was delightful. I've been meaning to clean that fridge cause every time I open it, it kind of smells and I kind of want to puke. So thankful to my mom for all her help and making me feel like I could really put my feet up.

Oh, and my man has been a champ as well. He's helped so much. I'm kind of in emergency-mode these days. Between limited hearing which makes me feel dizzy and nausea that doesn't seem to leave unless I'm sleeping, I feel like I'm just trying to make it until, Lord willing, these season passes. We're at 13 weeks tomorrow. Hopefully in another week it will start to ease up a bit. And hopefully, by Christmas I'll look a little bit like this. Though, hopefully not this huge.

In good news, I've been deeply enjoying a Masterpiece Classic called Downton Abbey. Which is on netflix instant. Which is an incredible show. I am quite obsessed and often hear their accents in my head. It's been so long since I've used a proper accent. It's been a great distraction and nothing too heavy to burden the days.





Also, while in Phoenix, my mom and I left our flip flops outside. This is what the Phoenix heat does to flip flops, apparently, when left in the sun. Way too small and shriveled like a piece of bacon. Craaaazy.

the graduation

My sister graduated a couple of weeks ago.

though I was feeling better in this picture, the sickness was about to get worse.

I was so, so sick that week. Like, the sickest I've been in a long time. I got a horrible ear ache the night before we were supposed to go down the mountain and I woke up wondering if I could even go to her graduation.  


So thankful for the garlic ear drops that soothed the ear ache at 2am and so, so thankful for my husband who stayed up with me in my painful state. Those drops were magic.


We traveled down on Friday and were able to see my sister graduate. Jack was still getting over his cold so he stayed at home with my gracious Aunt who watched him. 

Mags and Mom and Pop

Isn't Maggie beautiful? I taught her all she knows. Just kidding.

 My grandparents, Aunt and cousins from Florida came for the graduation. I was once again reminded how amazing and wondrous it is to be in a room with people who share so much of your person. Your hair color, your laugh, your jokes, your eyes, your sass, your emotions, your heart. It will never get old to share a laugh with someone who finds humor in the same things you do. It's beautiful to be with those who have known you your whole life and love you still. Who have watched your grow up and change and have loved you through all those stages.
 

Florida cousins who I used to hold and pretend I was babysitting. Am I that old?!

My grandparents we grew up down the street from. Now retired and living in Florida. 82 and 85 and lookin' GOOD. 

My grandpa fought in World War 2 in Germany. He helped liberate a concentration camp. He is incredible and one day I'll bust out some pictures of him from his time in Germany. So thankful for the way he served our country.

And it was so incredible to see my brother again. I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving and that is just too long. Though I was so sick and spent most of my time on the couch or in my parent's room sleeping, I didn't want to give up the time to be around family. Especially since we don't see them often. Andy is as charming as ever and charmed the socks off everyone he saw. He made everyone laugh, just like when we were kids. He also showed me all the funny youtubes, a ritual when he comes to visit.
 

Though our oldest brother was missed in this picture, it was good to have all the siblings back together.

Jack got a good dose of antibiotics and is back to his normal, wild and hilarious self. He loves being with family almost as much as I do, though he doesn't seem to love to sleep at my parent's house as much as I do. The first night was horrible and he spent most of the night snuggled in bed with me. By 6am he was up and ready for fun. I cried, wondering how a sick mama keeps going without getting sicker? How do you find energy when you literally have zero left? In swooped my parents who graciously took their lil grandson and off our hands and let us sleep a couple of more hours. The other nights got better as I let him have the room all to himself. I said, see ya. I'll sleep better on the couch. John traveled back up north so he could preach on Sunday morning.


I feel so thankful we were at my parent's house that weekend. Besides being sick, having family around to help with Jackboy really is a blessing. I once thought and dreamed of being off in a far away land, experiencing life alone and family-less, a sacrifice I was willing to make. I'm so humbled and thankful that God knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows I'm just not that strong. Not yet anyway.
 

So Maggie is officially out of high school, 18 and moving on. It feels surreal. I feel old. I can't believe that time is already here. I don't think my parent's are ready to be empty nesters. She's grown up so fast.

 

sprouts

This week has been packed full of changes.

Not really with me (though I do feel like monster-Mel is back to sleep, for a while, I hope. I hope forever.) Things in our little frontier land are changing. It snowed Saturday and today it is a breezy, sunny and warm 65 degree day. I am diggin' this spring. 

We're getting a fence this spring to ward off javalinas, deer and coyotes (it's mostly their land out here.) We live on a corner lot so settling in to some backyard BBQ fun is kind of impossible without a fence to declare back yard territory. The rest of our yard, however, is a work in progress and sometimes I find contentment to be lacking. I do love it, though, and am thankful for a home and that it's this one.

Another change.

Jack is fighting off his cold and has been in much better spirits today. My man is still fighting the bug/allergies and just hasn't been feeling great lately. Which is hard for him and difficult for me too. I need to work on my sick-graces because I'll be honest, I lack in that area.

Over the weekend we went to the mall to let Jack run around (he was getting stir crazy and it was snowing! in april!) it was good for us to get out too. i had forgotten how nice weather just welcomes you to put on your chacos, sunglasses and feel the breeze hit your cheeks and dance around your shoulders. Spring is here. And with it brings changes and I am so thankful for both.

My garden is sprouting! Granted, it's still indoors, but it's growing and I am really hoping for yummy goodness in the next couple of months. And when I move it outdoors? No guarantee that it won't fail and we will be without food in a few months. We're attempting to eat much healthier and although it's been trickier financially (like cutting back on our trips to safeway just to get me and jack out of the house) it's been really good. The food (no surprise here) tastes so much better. We've been eating ground turkey instead of beef for the last year or so, but recently switched to organic beef and it was like...a little tortilla packed full of heaven. There truly is a difference.

I was at Bible study until 11:30 on Monday night. I am so thankful for times for chatting, laughing, eating and sharing our hearts. And that my man doesn't mind if I'm gone until 11:30. I came home and we dreamed and rambled until 1:00am. That's really late for us. I loved it.

rain or shine

There's still no rain on our little frontier.

When will the rain come? I'm not sayin' I mind. I love watching the clouds swim over head, full of thick heavy pillows. I love the breeze, and the varying sun light.

More than that, I love cuddling with Jackboy. He's real sick today. Like, sicker than I've ever seen him. He just laid in my arms for the whole morning, his eyes closed (except when Thomas was on) and just inhaled. and exhaled. and snuggled with me and his binky. It was so precious. It's moments like those that my inner mother bird perches itself boldly on watch and rocks her baby in the early morn while he fights off a fever. A mama bird that can't fall back asleep because she's trying to figure out what's wrong and how she can help. It's rocking with the blinds pulled, gently moving back and forth, back and forth, watching his eyelids open to make sure I'm still there and then close to doze off again. But don't set him down until he's fully asleep because he's not ready to be alone just yet.

Sweet moments. 

I took Jack to the doctor because 1. It's almost the weekend and 2. All morning is fever was 102.5 and I was a little nerv. Better safe than sorry. My doctor is the best in all the land. She is so good with Jack and makes me feel like a champ rather than a worry wart for bringing in a baby with a fever. Because, hello, what can she do? He did, however, have a bad ear infection. She asked if I wanted a prescription so I gently stumbled on the question, "Can we try anything else?"

To my surprise, she recommended many other things. She recommended I try a garlic ear drop from the health food store (which I got), a chiropractor (I'm going to take him to see the bowen work lady instead) and if those don't work than fulfill the prescription. 

It's so great to have a doctor who doesn't want to stuff your kid with stuff you don't want (or aren't sure if you want or not.) and rather explores with you other options that will be healthier for him in the long run.

Thank you, Lord, for that. 

and, oh yeah, the stress and adrenal support is for real working. still tasting nasty? yes. but starting to feel the effects after chewing seven of them over the last 24 hours? Yes.

the song of the day is this:

uh-oh

Jack is kind of a binky-holic.

My fault?

Maybe.

My Goose has an ear infection. His second in his life and the poor boy just can't shake the pain. Thankfully, he's sleeping well at night, but during the day he is all fuss and whiners. He spends most the time in my arms or on the couch reading books. He loves himself a good book. Can't say I blame him.

While we were picking up his prescriptions at Fry's, Jack dropped a book he was reading (told you, he's addicted.) and out came those two little words I've been waiting for. "Uh-oh." and he starred at the floor. I smiled to the boy and reached down to pick up his book. The pharmacist was so tickled and laughed the whole way to retrieve the medicine.

He said it again and again since we got home and it cracks me up. Is he really at that stage already? I mean, he says 'mama' and 'dada' but this was the first word that is probably in my top-five-favorite-things-that-kid's say. Number 2? I love you, of course. My heart was full of happiness.

...

We saw a brief fall of winter snow yesterday. And when I say brief, I mean only about 3 minutes worth of snow fall. My heart sunk. I had greatly anticipated at least an inch. I woke up at 6:00am to go to the bathroom and opened my blinds to check and see if it had fallen. It hadn't. I was bummed and quickly snuggled back in bed.

I know everyone to the East of us is really hatin' the snow, but could you please send some our way? I'm sure California wouldn't mind a bit either. Just kidding.

dog days

"Take it slowly. This book is dangerous!"

-Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss

Yesterday started early.

...like 6:30am early.

Which was okay because I let John sleep in ('let' seems like an unfair word. He hardly ever sleeps in. He enjoyed a sleep in, I should say.) I gently awoke John around 8:30 to remind him that it was 50% off day at Goodwill and I was looking forward to headin' onward to find some deals.

And deals I did find.

A stop at the Donut Factory may or may not have been included. Ok, it was.

Were the Goodwill deals something I couldn't live without?

No, not really.

But were they great because they were 50% off?

Why yes, they were! 

About four thrift stores later I returned home to find Jackboy sick as a dog. John had called at thrift store #2 and said Jack felt a little warm and had fallen asleep. I wasn't too concerned, but when I felt Jack's feverish forehead and saw his glassy eyes I knew. The poor kiddo was sick. We took his temp and it was 102.5. A first for him. Honest truth: a part of me was kind of excited to get to pamper our little boy and pretend to be a nurse (not an original aspiration of mine, fyi) and maybe even bust out some dr. quinn moves. However, after the ibuprofen had kicked in he was back to running around (yet stopping for more breaks than normal.)

So, today Jack was smothered with snuggles, nose wipes, binkies and applesauce. I loved seeing John take care of Jack. He's so gentle and sensitive to how his boy is feeling. It's absolutely precious. Every so often John will remind me how Jack might be feeling, for example, he said, "I know that when I have a fever I get the chills. I bet he has the chills." I kind of giggled, but sure enough, later Jack was full of chills and snuggling up so tight he couldn't get enough. Father and son. That's all.

Friday night my parents came up for a visit and it was delightful. We went out for dinner and then walked around our tiny mall (it's seriously ridiculously tiny) so mom could return some shoes and we could get some coffee. I put Jack's pj's on after dinner so he could fall asleep on the way home (I didn't realize we were going the mall) and within minutes of entering the mall, Jack is out of the stroller and runnin' around like a wild javalina. I quickly realized I am one of those mamas who lets their kid dance in circles in his pj's in the mall. on a friday night. What has become of us?

After dinner with my parents and the trip the mall, John and I cozied up on the couch and watched Julie and Julia. Gets me every single time. I love everything about that movie. The food, the love and the laughter. Mostly, I love Meryl Streep. She truly is amazing.

This morning Jack still has a fever. He slept well last night though and only woke up once. I know this too shall pass. I'm trying to enjoy the extra snuggle time. To play it safe, we're staying home from church. Our first time since he was a newborn.

Will we see this Jack tomorrow? Please come back and play.