hello, summer.

I feel like it's been forever since I've written.

Maybe because it has been.

Maybe because it's been hot here in Arizona and I spend the afternoons camped out, napping while Jack naps and when he awakes, we share a smoothie and hit the road to beat the heat. ie, go to goodwill or walmart. Your pick.

Maybe because Jack just doesn't allow for computer time anymore. If he sees the computer/tv screen on (our computer doubles as our tv) than he is convinced it is time for one or all of the following: Wonder Pets, Thomas the Train, Fireman Sam or some documentary about cars that John watches with him. He likes his shows, but we try to limit his time, thus, mom gets her computer time limited too.

the boys had fun, but they were cold. It was so funny because they would just sand at the end where all the kids were sliding.

but after a quick wardrobe change, Jack grew to like it.

 

Maybe because when we are awake we are out with friends enjoying water parties or making trips to Costco or trying to embrace and enjoy summer. I wish I could say that with real enthusiasm. I must tell you that I've been listening to Christmas music on Pandora nearly every morning because it brings me so much joy. I can't wait for winter to be here once again. I know that sounds strange and kind of...sad, but I do love a little chill. I'm trying to embrace summer by enjoying plenty of watermelon, listening to plenty of bluegrass, going for walks after the sun dozes and looking forward to the monsoons which should arrive in 30 days or more. But whose counting?

And once the big kids took a break they figured out how to slide.

again and again

We've also been celebrating Father's Day, enjoying bluegrass festival at the square and listening to Jack's new whine/squeal. Sometimes, he can't decide when he's happy or sad.

 I wish you could hear this noise. Seriously hilarious/ kind of annoying.

It might have been a while since I've written because I've had a strange case of first trimester all-day nausea. I awake with it, I bare it through breakfast and it sticks with me like the summer heat until I doze off at about 10pm each night. But, each day, I find myself thanking Jesus for the gift that is another little bean growing slowly inside me (and pushing the pouch that Jack left over quickly out) and that we're almost to 10 weeks and almost to the end of the first trimester. Praise Jesus! I've felt so sick since 2 weeks before I even missed my period (does this happen to other people?) and have felt it get worse as each week passes. But, man. It's been such a great reminder that things are going well. That though it was so hard to lose a little one in February, that God's timing is perfect. That the little bean in there is hopefully growing like they should be and Lord willing we will meet him or her the end of January. Another reason why I'm listening to Christmas music every day? Perhaps.

this was taken right before my sister's graduation back in May.

While our little bean has been growing each week, Jack has been growing almost as quickly. He is changing and while I rocked him to sleep today (for he got his leg stuck in the side of the crib and had a litttttle bit of a freak out) I looked at his head and arms and long legs and could hardly believe he is almost two. How does time go so quickly? John and I were talking the other day and I thought out loud, "Jack will never know what it's like to be an only child. He won't remember this time. Being a big brother is all he'll ever know." To which we both smiled. Siblings are truly glorious things.

I'm off for a little nap, please don't judge. Or judge that I just bought a big 'ol thing of potato salad at costco. Helllooo, summer.

The Day the Javelina's Ate My Pumpkins

As you know, I love autumn.

I love the changing colors, the cooling temperature, the early sunsets and darker mornings. I love seeing my breath in the dark air while roasting marshmallows around a fire. I love snuggling close with my man over an episode of Parenthood. I love eating candy corn (until I feel sick) and making many warm, delicious meals (tonight was tortilla soup...not the best. We'll forget that one happened. Sorry, babe.)

 

This morning when I opened our front door to let in a cool breeze and a little sunlight I discovered my two pumpkins I JUST bought on Sunday were GONE! It was as if they were never there. Looking closer I found tiny remnants. I quickly ruled out teenagers (they would have left behind something) and that meant it could only be an animal. Javelina's. Arizona's squirrel, if you will. They come to destroy and be a pest. Annnd eat pumpkins. My 3.98 pumpkins, too. In Scottsdale it was too hot to leave pumpkins outside and here it's too dangerous to leave them outside. I think I will put them outside 8am-7pm and then bring them to the garage, kiss them goodnight and keep them safe. Just kidding, of course.

this is all that remained of my pumpkins

I got my Canon Rebel back. It had been 2 weeks. It's like reuniting with an old friend. It's fun, but different. It takes a few days to find the groove and be yourself. 

Jack had Cougan over for a little while today. It was delightful. The whole way to our house they sat in the back seat giggling at each other. So, so precious. 


By the way, my screen is seriously broken on our door there. How does one fix that?


I have so many pictures to share, so much I want to capture and create to be set as memories for Jack to sift through when we're old and aging. That reminds me...

Last night on the drive home John and I were talking about the strange reality that we will most likely be alive when our parents pass away. My mom is already concerned about "what will happened when..." and trying to plan ahead. But, how do you plan ahead for something that is so beautiful and natural, yet so painful? How do you plan ahead in the reality that you might not being able to care for yourself anymore? When you can't remember where you put your shoes, car keys, or if you ate your breakfast or took your medicine? How can you plan for that? While we were driving I let it really sink in to my brain for a brief moment. I let the thought take off it's shoes and settle deep into the lazyboy of my brain (maybe I'm the only one who doesn't think about this sort of thing on a daily basis.) and it was a startling reality. Honestly, if I think about it too long the whole thing freaks me out.

I haven't lost a lot of loved ones in my life. John has experienced losing both of his grandparents and his great aunt. Both sets of my grandparents are still alive and I'm not sure how it will be when they pass away. My heart rejoices with them because they will get to meet face to face with their Savior, but the pain that will reach my parent's hearts goes deeper than my pain. I'm sure it's a different kind of pain. The truth that it will one day be my parents who I'll have to say goodbye to is a very scary and shaking fact.


As the moment passed on our drive home I decided to settle into the present and the time I do have with them. We're not meant to live forever, and this moment isn't forever (however blissful it may be.) It's meant to end and we're meant to grow older and one day pass away. I'll focus on today. On enjoying and loving them for as long as God wills it.