2 Years

Today is Jack's second birthday. As in, two years ago right now I was recovering on a hospital bed, starring at my newborn little boy, chatting with the night nurses, relieved that the pain was over and yet in complete awe of what had just happened. John stayed with Jack while they bathed him and checked him from head to toe. I was so, so exhausted and all I remember was a friendly nurse (who we had bought most of our baby stuff from) was on call and came in to congratulate me. I was in such a weird state that all I remember was my eyes were crying, but I wasn't. I couldn't stop the tears from flooding my cheeks. I was seriously exhausted. 

Two years later, we are to today and Jack has the croup. We were up a lot last night trying to ease his cough. He's hoarse and clingy and wants to watch Cars all day. And today he did. Around 2am this morning I paced the steamy bathroom with him in my arms and prayed and thanked Jesus that we are the blessed ones to see this little guy grow. I can't believe how long his legs have grown and how his smile has turned from a round baby grin to this toddler expression that is filled with wonder and excitement for life. (Oh, and a regular tantrum as well.) Somehow he has survived two years (and somehow we have too ;) and I feel so honored to be his mama. 

Last night the three of us lay sleepless in bed, trying to coax Jack back to sleep. I was worrying (I can get a little carried away when I lose sleep) and John was calm. Oh, so calm. Jack sounded like his little throat was closing in and I was almost sure an ER visit was in our near future. I'd rest my hand on his chest and feel his little heart pounding, hard, trying to keep up. In the dead of night we heard a truck drive by and a hoarse, pacifier voice say "Truck? Truck."

"I think he's going to be fine." John mumbled. Back to bed Jack went and slept until 9 this morning. (Lovely!)

Even though his little birthday shin-dig had to be canceled, I was so thankful for my visiting parents, a "doe-doe" (donut) breakfast and a couple of presents to celebrate this little guy's life.

...

My dear goose,

Today you turned two. You ate a chocolate sprinkle donut and had us sing 'happy birthday' twice because you loved it so much. You didn't sleep well and still had a bad cough, but wanted only your "doe-doe" to eat all the same. You played trains and cars with your papa and requested to watch Cars all day long. Your party was canceled this year, but hopefully we'll celebrate next week.

You have discovered your little vocabulary and have so many opinions that I wonder how you've kept in this long. Your recent favorites are phrases like, "Mine." "Help, mama." "Daddy go?" " Mommydaddy." and other things you pick up from our random conversations. You are going to become a big brother in a few months and I can't wait to see you with your own little sibling. You love people (and kids as you call them) so much and a day doesn't go by that you request to play with someone. (That, you may or may not get from me. ;) You are full of life and energy and love your (two) cars. I can't believe how fast two years has gone, I feel like you've been in our lives forever. 

I am so glad I had you.

Last October I thought you were so big and growing so fast. I had no idea how much you would change in only one more year.

 

You and your daddy love your time together.  You guys make such a great team.

February was a little difficult for us as we lost a baby early on in the pregnancy. You were such a great reminder to me that God's timing is so perfect and His healing hand is so consistent. I am so, so thankful for the extra months we've had together just the two of us.

This coming February we will rejoice with the birth of your baby sister!

 

You love to help daddy with the coffee in the morning.

 

Where did this little boy come from? You changed so much (and got your first haircut.)

and here we are, in Michigan just a week ago. 

I pray you will use your strengths for His kingdom and that you will seek Jesus with your whole life. I pray for boldness, strength, discernment and protection.

Thanks for being you and keeping me on my toes. Sleep well tonight and heal up. I miss my silly goose.

Love,

Mama

the visit from the flu

These last few days have been a little rough.

It was the first stomach flu I've gotten since having Jackboy. I knew it would be rough, but man, I wasn't expecting that. Praise Jesus Jack isn't nursing! I don't know how a mama could nurse AND throw up--perhaps one right after the other! That would be a doozy.

So, we've made it through. There's a light at the end of the tunnel and it's gone through both John and I and we are praying Jack steers clear. It's nothin' to mess with.



Monday, my mom and I spent the day cleaning John and I's condo down south. We were getting new renters in there and needed to turn it around...quickly. We deep cleaned like nobodies business and the place looks fabulous. It was one of the hardest yet most rewarding days ever. My mom is incredible at getting a job done. I hope I inherited half of that zeal.

I did, in the midst of feeling pukey and napping off and on, finish season 3 of The Office. I think it's my favorite season so far. It's kind of hard to laugh when you feel nauseous (am I right?) but somehow, Michael/and or Dwight got me to chuckle almost every episode. Well done. Truthfully? I don't care for Ryan the Temp. Why is he on the show so much anyway?

And so glad the flu is done with too.

p.s. I feel like like my prayer to learn how to adjust this year is already being challenged. Oh, boy.

learning to adjust.

In general, I'm not a planner. I don't enjoy strict or confining schedules. I do, however, enjoy routines and list making. I love the feeling of accomplishing a deep clean and a job well done. I enjoy attacking tasks like nobodies business, but I'm not a huge fan of planning for the future or writing out goals for the unseen. Rather, I enjoy dreaming. I enjoy imagining the future as if it's a good movie (perhaps starring Meryl Streep)accompanied by a great soundtrack (preferably by Thomas Newman.)

This is the first year of my life that I've chosen a word to set the souls of my feet to. I have thought about it, meant to do it, but never did it in years past, but this year is different. Most years the word is already predetermined. For instance, last year was the beginning of Jack's life. The year before was moving to Prescott and John's new job. The year before that we were newly married. The year before that we were engaged and about to get married. So on and so on. You get the idea. Anyway, this year the slate is bare and full of possibility. I find myself praying often for God's direction and leading. I also pray for a change in my life and heart that only He can do. 

I pray He teaches me how to adjust. I'm not good at change and am often found fighting it like crazy, but this year...this year I pray it's different. I long to be able to adjust to a change in plans. To adjust to new and different ways to handle conflict. Adjust to screaming babies. Adjust to the loss of friendships. Adjust to moving on. Adjust to new friendships and the season that they sometimes are. Adjust to John's busy schedule and let go of my selfish desire for more of his time than he has. Adjust to letting people down and learning to let go of their expectations on my people-pleasing nature. Adjust to being a mom who engages and loves graciously. Adjust and learn to parent the way Christ desires for me. Adjust to another kiddo someday. Adjust to change--to embrace the beauty of it because, although difficult, change is good. I pray He teaches me how to adjust to things I can't. To adjust with His help, direction and guidance.

holiday favorites

"Let's watch the old year die
With a fond good-bye
And our hopes as high
As a kite
How can our love go wrong if
We start the new year right?"

Let's Start the New Year Right - Bing Crosby

After Christmas is one of my favorite times to look through old pictures, watch family movies and sit and watch the cold weather turn from Christmas to winter. It's a great transition. Especially because winter doesn't really start here until mid-December. Snow continues to cover our yard and roads and trees. It's still 14 degrees out there, peeps. It is cold. With a cup of hot chocolate, my favorite fleece and some pleasant music I am geared up to embrace winter and say goodbye to the wonderful holidays. fare thee well.

I think little Aaron loved Christmas.

Jack and I were the only ones up at 7am Christmas morn.

John showing off his Christmas present for the camera. Jack is no amused.

Grandpa and his number 3 grandson.

Taking a Christmas day walk with my boys.

 

My sister in law, Leilani and I holding each other's kiddos. Babies on Christmas = serious fun.

     Welcome, 2011! We looking forward to seeing what you hold.

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