22 February 2012

Second time around...(cue step by step theme song)

Things I wish someone had told me the first time mothering...

Don't panic over a sleepless night. Babies change so quickly and what you think is a problem one day is something else the next.

Nurse when the baby wants to nurse. Cuddle more and try to worry about sleep a little less.

Drink so much water.

Choose joy, even when you are fighting lonely fatigue.

These last couple of weeks have not been easy. The adjustment has gone well but then Jack got sick and then by all his irresistible cuddles and kisses he passed it to his sister...the beginning of so many shared germs.

Then she got really sick. I don't have much experience with newborn colds but let me tell you what. They are scary. But she survived, our little fighter, and is on the mend.

But seriously, two week olds can get colds? That shouldn't be allowed.

Then I battled two clogged ducts. Yikes. Breast feeding and I kind of have a love/hate relationship. It's really a wonderful thing, but challenging and a whole other level of adjustment when you have a newborn. Totally worth it but can be tricky. I wish someone had told me it was ok to kind of love/hate it. And that once you get in a rhythm with it, you will love it immensely.

So here we are. Three weeks in, going on a week of house arrest and the kiddos are doing better. Praise Jesus.

It's a beautiful time. Challenging for both Jack and I to adjust to the shift in our rhythm, but he's getting the hang of it. So am I. Slowly. And man. Does he ever love his sister. He wants to kiss her all the time. He calls her his 'bruder' even though I remind him she's his sister. Tonight he wanted her to be in bed with him, but I told him when shes a little bit bigger. He's such a tender hearted little man.

I just pray Zoey stays healthy and we can re-enter the world of playdates and trips to Goodwill on dollar day and playing outside before it snows again.

My heart longs to look in the mirror & see all the post pregnancy fat to be shriveled into my normal skin. Just to be honest. I know it takes time. And that's alright. We did invest in a treadmill and I can not wait to start using it.

The days are warm and sunny and I am anxious to go for walks. Now that Zoey is pretty much over her cold we will venture out more and let Jack run wild more. Yesterday I opened the screen door and my poor son sat by the open door and played with his cars the whole time. He didn't ask to go out. I probably failed as a mom on that end. What two year old boy doesn't want to go play outside.

We must play outside more.

I am feeling rested and refreshed today. An evening trip to walmart can do that to a young mama. My man is truly incredible and so supportive, loving and helpful. I am in awe of him and the way Jesus uses Him in my life. He's the best running partnerI could have imagined (and as a young girl, I imagined a lot. Let me tell you.)

Here's to March. Remembering His presence. Clinging to what I know is true of Him. Keep Gods presence my passion.

Spring. One month old baby. Two year old delightful boy and a freshness that can't be duplicated in these first few months of a new baby's life. Everything feels new and a little unbalanced, but so thankful for experience and the reminder that these moments go oh, so fast.

15 February 2012


I wrote this a couple days before Zoey was born and I feel like I should have published it. Just to remember.

Still no sign of our little bug. Maybe on Groundhog Day?

I'm longing to meet her, and more than just that I'm aching to make sure everything is okay and all is well and healthy.

Pregnancy is such an odd waiting game of trust and rest in knowing only God knows the outcome. It has stretched my faith and trust in ways I don't think I could have been stretched if I didn't get to experience this magic.

I've been thinking all month of a word for this year. I've gone around and around so much and couldn't seem to think of one.

John & I were brainstorming and after seeing how last years word was nothing to mess with, (boy did I learn how to adjust. In some awesome/difficult ways) I feel like this year...2012, I need to find the rhythm that He wants to set my feet to. The rhythm I tend to avoid because life gets busy and my pace seems better. The rhythm He has set of being a mom to two, a wife to a pastor who works so hard, a wife to a writer who loves his outlet and needs it. The rhythm of family time, rest time, getaway solo time, late night nursings and investing and getting to know women from church & outside of church. To continue to discover His rhythm for ministry and where He wants me to serve. And waiting on His voice and His timing.

The new rhythm of a family of four sometimes scares me. Of trying to balance quality time with John with Jack's love and enthusiasm for life and Zoey's new life. I think, like most people, changing our rhythm and pace can be difficult. Some people thrive. John and I tend to be a little reluctant at times, especially when we weren't expecting the change.

But man, every change in rhythm has brought growth and depth in character. It's so worth it.

I'm also hoping to learn the rhythm of health and becoming active and intentional about eating healthy, exercising regularly and learning to love it. (I'll be honest, that's the hardest part for me.)

I hope to go with the rhythm of seasons and truly enjoy them. Metaphorically speaking and the actual change in seasons. I love me some cold weather and after living in Arizona for almost nine (!!!) years, you would have thought I would be used to its relentless (albeit beautiful) sun by now. Getting there.

Hopes for much outside water play, hikes and walks around our neighborhood, trips to the zoo and beyond are in my hopeful future. Fall and winter will come again, they typically do.

There are so many things that a new year brings. So many unforeseen changes and growth. So many obstacles and moments of hurt and changes that we didn't expect. But I do think He alone can bring the change we long for and He is so faithful to do that.

two weeks

Sorry for the delay. 
Things have been a little busy round here.

John is home until tomorrow and it has been a blissful little vacation. I think one of the best family vacations possible with two little ones.

We are savoring this time with our little bird and loving the moments with Jack. The good and hard ones. 

Us at the hospital right after she was born. I still can't over that I had just given birth. I felt so different (wonderful, really) and immediately after her tiny self came into the world I thought I could do it again.

For she was only 6lb 14oz. What else was in there? I was huge!!

She is so easy going. She loves to snuggle, nurse, make tiny little noises and cry, too, of course.

Her eyes look so old. As if there's an old soul in there reading your heart.

We were blessed to have John's mama come for two weeks! It was so wonderful and really good for Jack to get to know his daddy's mom. She is such a gem and the time spent together will be cherished.

Then, Jackboy got a bad cold and could often be found in places like this.

or doing things like this...
Our little family of four. p.s. I looked down because I looked huge and was so swollen. It helped...?

My mom also came up for a bit to see Zoey.  So, so precious.

My man, the daddy of two. It is still sinking in. It's still kind of scary, but after two weeks in...I feel ready. Bring it on. Just don't ask me to go grocery shopping with the two of them yet. Not. Quite. Ready for that adventure.

08 February 2012

She is here!

Well, one week ago today that is.

Our little Zoey Evelyn was born last Wednesday morning at 4:35am weighing in at 6lbs 14oz. She was a full two pounds smaller than her brother Jack. They share a similar look, but Zoey is just a mini version of him. She is so petite; even her cry is petite. We are very much falling in love with her and treasuring these early days.

Jack is handling it...well. He loves on her and asks for her every time he wakes up. He also loves to rub her head with the palm of his hand and give her tiny kisses. He doesn't love having his daddy hold her, however, and that's been the hardest part thus far. He's also developed a raspy cough, which kind of scares me. It didn't take long for real life to jump into the newborn bliss. I'm praying Zoey doesn't get it and praying that Jack heals up quickly.

The birth was truly wonderful. As soon as it was over I felt ready to do it again. I do think that the two pound difference between Jack and Zoey helped a bit too. ;) I got an incredible epidural (though that was probably the scariest part) and she was born within a few hours from when we got to the hospital.

Our little family of four is settling in nicely and I feel like I'm kind of on a baby high. A feeling I didn't really experience with Jack. I loved him and being a new mama, but was scared out of my mind. This time around is better. Smoother. Less terrifying. Something I've prayed for for the last nine months. Thank you, Jesus. My cup runneth over.

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