19 November 2015


Jack loves to learn. It's like he has an appetite for it. Once he finds something he loves he wants to learn everything there is to know about it. Or if it's a song, he wants to listen to it a hundred times. (Current favorite is the Jurassic Park theme song.)  Some things he already knows everything about (imagine that.) like soccer. He knows all the moves. haha.

I admire his confidence and although I think there's great value in not being a know it all (no body likes a know it all) I love the way he delivers facts and little tidbits he's learned. And a lot of the time he's right. His little brain is like a vault of information and when he's told something once he will pretty much remember it forever (he did not inherit that skill from me.) He loves a good task or assignment and loves a good challenge. I love that about him. We're very different, but he's reminded me of the importance of a good nudge. A nudge of hope, of friendships, of finding something you love to do and committing to learn it because there is such great joy in accomplishment. I'm a little late in life to be learning this, but here I am. I used to think that having to do all the work made it kind of pointless, but finally at the ripe old age of 30 I am learning the great value in the process and not just reaching the goal.

And lately, I see this tender side of him. This side that prefers to cuddle and have hugs and kisses and to hear how important bravery and courage is. Lately I see little insecurities creep in and he quickly blames it on his shoes or the pants I make him wear, but the fact that his little confidence meter is being tampered with hurts my heart. I know it's inevitable and it's healthy and in the big picture, good. I just can't believe he's already there. It doesn't get a whole lot easier from here.

There's a part of me that wants to shield him from failure, from bullies, from eating lunch alone or not quite understanding certain things. I try to remind myself it's so good for him and that although this may be real life, it doesn't have to define us or keep us from trying again. I pray he keeps trying again. Love that boy,
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