lame

I feel terrible for slacking so much on this blog.



It's seriously been over a month. Future children to whom I write this blog for. I am sorry. Zoey, I am sorry that I have been a slacker. But, to be fair, it has been a whirlwind of a last month.

Christmas came! It was wonderful! My brother and his wife came and their sweet baby girl, Juniper. I loved every minute of it. It's hard growing up, through. Especially when you grow in different directions and no matter how badly you want to get back to that place, you just can't. I miss childhood and probably always will, but I'm learning to accept that people and things change.

Somewhere in all the busyness of life my Zoeybird crawls like a wild woman and her and Jack have found their rhythm and friendship and she doesn't mind his smothering hugs as long as she can grab his binky when he first wakes up. Typically after nap I set Zoey in Jack's bed and he loves a good cuddle. She only lasts a little bit, but the first thing she reaches for is his pacifer. (Which we're trying to let go of. But change is hard.) Jack is talking up a storm, pretending and tonight he informed me that "I love my buddies, mom." He's a true people person and is learning the art of empathy and taking turns. It's no easy task. For any of us, I imagine.



If Jack is up before Zoey he loves to rock her in her chair and we sing "Rock-a-by-Zoey" She loves it.

Zoey is standing, but not walking. She's always smiling, always curious, always wanting a little hug or a tickle. She's still not sleeping really well, but i am trying to begin the process of weaning her. I love nursing, but i think she's ready for milk and real food. She loves to eat and unlike her dear brother, will try anything I put in front of her. Her current favorites are turkey, avacado, string cheese, any sort of bread or noodle. She doesn't love sharp chedder cheese, but that's okay. I'm still nervous that she's going

John's book came out. It was/is exciting and brings me so much joy to see him excited about it too. It has meant busy weekends and long days and he's technically working two jobs somedays. I'm a woman of routine so this is kind of throwing me off, but truly by God's grace, I'm surprised at how much peace He's given me and true love for John and really wanting him to live in these moments because it will pass and life will return to it's consistency (the way I like it) and he'll have another idea pounding in his head and then we'll be off again...

Zoey's birthday was wonderful. It was small, just my parent's, brother and his fam, and a couple little friends from church who she sees in the nursery. It was pretty cute.

Jack and his pal Ellie. They've been friends since they were itty-bitty.

 And Ellie's sister Carly and Zoey. Also close in age and also too cute together.

 Zoey's other little friend Brooke. So cute.

My mom giving Zoey her present.

This girl loveees her food.

A little party spread.

 My sweet Zoeybird,

When I think of you my heart swells with love. You have changed me, little one, since I met you one year ago. Your very nature is sweet and so innocent. Your cry is soft and only used when you really want to be heard. You're favorite phrase to say is "Yeah!" In a high pitched tone. I've found myself saying that to you a lot whenever you smile or giggle. I love that you say that. That you say it when you look at babydoll or see a baby or see a picture of a baby. You love people's faces and when we have friends over you are so much happier than when it's just boring old me. I love that about you. I love your sass when I take something away or your refusal to eat baby food. I love your little lip tremble when someone tells you no and how hurt your feelings get. I love your go-with-the flow nature and that besides getting up at night, you are incredibly flexible. I love your tiny features and hair that falls into your face. I love when you sit on your little bum and hold your arms up to me to let me know you're ready to be picked up. Birdie, you are a dream come true. You are great for your brother, and I can already see will be a great ali for him. Please don't grow up too fast. I keep praying that we will be friends when you're older and I know it might not happen naturally, but I want you to know that I will try and try to be a good mama and friend to you. For I truly believe they go hand in hand. I am so glad we had you, I'm so thankful Jesus used you to heal our wounded hearts and to teach us true dependency on Him. I'm so glad we named you Zoey and every time I say your name I'm so happy we chose it. I love your little shoulder cuddle, the way you hum along when we sing to you and the way you talk to yourself at 4am for an hour.

I LOVE you, Zoey. Just the way you are.

Love,
Mama

r&r

Today marks a first for me.

for other you capture's check out beth's blog

Tonight, for the first time in 15 months, I'm going away for the night all by myself. Mind you, I've traveled far alone, but this is the first time in a year that I've spent the night without Jack. When I read that it stills shocks me and it's a little...sad? I love him and being a mama, but I didn't think it would take me this long to get away. It's flown so quickly I don't think I've had much of a chance to even think of a getaway. He sleeps soundly through the night, but it isn't long before 8am hits and my mind begins to swim with the groundhog day-way. Diaper change, drink of water, play for about 2.5 minutes then ready to eat; banana, oatmeal, cinnamon raisin bread. Then, you can guess what comes next. Lovely.


I am a woman who loves her routine, but it will be nice to have a break from the routine (even if it is just for a day. )I'm going to a women's retreat in Phoenix and getting ready to embrace the quiet moments where I can really sit and think and pray and meet with Jesus.


What to expect: a lot of reading, writing, thinking, talking, sharing and worrying about nothing to do with bedtimes, sippy cups, meals, dirty diapers or binkys. I know I'll miss my guys like nobodies buisness, but goodness. 15 months without flyin' solo? Get ready, world. I am about to embrace all that I've been missing. Or not.


This last week has been kind of hard for me with Jack being sick. I thought I was nurturing, but turns out John (once again) is kind of the winner. He is so sweet and patient with a fussy/ear infected boy. I try to be as well, but it gets tricky to that all else that being a mama calls for. John is incredible and the best partner for me. We are a great tag team and he's going to rock flyin' solo with Jack. His first overnight ever. I guess it's a series of firsts for the whole fam today.

Here's another Andy recommendation. Another personal fav.

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thankful thursdays (a day late)


1. so thankful for God's perfect timing and grace.
2. for my cousin in Egypt and that she is well and safe.
3. the cold weather this week.
4. my man who installed a thermostat so our heating bill doesn't get any higher.
5. a little guy who sleeps well even when he has an ear ache. so thankful. it gives me strength for the next day.
6. this candy coming back out thanks to v-day

7. an older pastor's wife mentor who has buckets of experience and a heart full of wisdom.
8. this retreat with a dear friend and sisters in Christ.
9. so thankful for the moments with jack when he wants to just sit and read on my lap. i know they are passing too quickly.

10. great friends who watch jack so i can have an hour to look through goodwill. and find 3 really cute shirts for 5 dollars. thank you!