a look back

I meant to post this months ago. I just stumbled upon it today and man, how much they have changed.

Jack still has the curls that begin around the top of his neck and Zoey still has that dreamy smile that makes me miss her when she's sleeping, but somehow they keep changing. 

The seasons are changing once again and winter has quickly left this western state and spring is already upon us. I keep tabs on the weather in Ohio (where I grew up) and I know the grass (or snow) is always greener on the other side, but something about my past, my childhood, my roots makes me miss those white spring days when one minute it would feel like spring and the next we'd be preparing for a snow storm. I love diverse weather and wish I could pass that on to my kids.

But alas, Arizona is beautiful and perfect and a whole different time.

And maybe I love just love the changing weather because it reminds me of being a kid. Of snow days in March and building a fire while we my brother and I still pretend it's Christmas. And oh, when the thunderstorms and tornados come in the spring and summer, that is fun too.

Instead I shall educate my kids on the desert flowers and juniper trees (which we are all allergic too.) I shall make sure they know lots about scorpions and javalinas and monsoons and forest fires. The West has diversity to it too.

There is this awesome family in our church who have five kids. Five kids and she homeschools them all. She is a carefree, relational, and intentional spirit. I try to take mental notes when I'm around her because I truly want to mirror the way she interacts with her eleven year old son whose braces take up most of his face at this point. I look at her and see pieces of myself years down the road, connecting and  joking with my pre-teen Jack. The possibility of him being kind of awkward is high, but all I keep thinking is that I want him to know how much I love him and like having him around. Because maybe I won't (all the time...if I'm honest) and I'm pretty sure he'll need to hear it more than the way I show it.

My friend and I chatted about how to keep from lecturing and how to respond when a pre-teen wants hot chocolate at 10pm. And then I looked and both of my kids were screaming in the car. It was like 11:30, sorry kiddos. Lunch came next.

I know those years will be here sooner than I think, oh Lord, give me Your grace to raise this childin's. 'cause I have no clue what I'm really doing. 

This was August of 2012, our last trip to the zoo.

little Birdie.

Oh, those toes!

end of summer 2012

 Oh, these two. Such joy.

 Favorite picture of them thus far.

Summer days are nearing an end. Normally I am so anxious for Autumn, but I've really loved this summer.

There have been some really hard and discouraging days, but there have been many days full of laughter, tickles, afternoon monsoons and otter pops outside.

This summer Jack truly evolved into a little boy. He says the funniest things and we aren't sure where he's even heard them.

Last night for example, he was jumping on the couch (which we don't let him do....often) and I asked him to stop, to which he said. "But Mom, I'm an angel. I flying!"

My heart nearly explodes with love when he asks to cuddle with him, scratch his back and sing a song to him. The talk of other friends sending their kids to preschool kind of stirs the reality that one day soon he'll be off to Kindergarten and gone will be our days of coloring, play dough and reading books over and over. 

He's also moved to his own big boy bed, which didn't take as much coaxing as I had thought. He totally loves it and has adapted well. It's also opened him to the idea of going on the potty and he's actually gone in it a few times. So excited for all the change.

Jack and Zoey are forming a bond that is so precious to watch. The way her eyes light up when she sees him and the way he loves to cuddle with her. Which translates as his-head-pushed-against-hers. She doesn't quite like it as much as she does.

They both love it so much when daddy comes home.

I wasn't kidding. He could do the face-cuddle all day long with his sis.

 

And Zoey is nearing the end of her sixth month of life. Six months. What?! She's started solids (but does not like them) and her torticollis is much, much better. She's such a gem and we are so thankful she's apart of our little bunch.

 Yesterday we drove to Costco and as we did we chatted the drive away. He has so much to say, so much to imagine. We pass a big pile of water (note: not a lake or pond here in Prescott. Just kind of a still body of water.) I once had told him orca whales were in there (my favorite animal) and since then every time we pass he says, "Orca whales in there, mommy?" and I have to remind him they only live in the ocean. But that doesn't matter to his two year old imagination. Love that. Later, I asked him if he would want another brother or sister. We don't have any immediate plans, but we do pray it will happen sometime in the future. He thought for a minute and then replied.

"Two Zoey's???" 

Sure, bud.

Sometimes the days are rough. Some days he's restless and misses his buddies and all he wants to do is something other than be here. I get that, I so get it. Today was one of those days. It was rough. Lots of crying, lots of hurt feelings, mostly over things that I had no control over.

"We go to Papa's house????" He'd ask every half hour or so. And every single time I told him not yet and he would burst into tears. He threw little pom pom balls all over the kitchen floor, which was a-ok until someone had to clean it up. He cried the entire time. 

Currently he has retreated to the backyard with a plate full of strawberries, grapes and graham crackers. I think we both need a little space.

This summer has flown and I can hardly believe next week we'll be in September. Oh, how I love September. I can't believe our little goose is almost three. Where has the time gone?

reflect

What a month.

This summer has been packed full of joys and sorrows, endings and beginnings, loss and change and joy. Lots of joy and lots of laughs.

I wish I could summarize it adaquately, but that might be a bit too personal for this 'ol blog.

I will share, though, about particular days.

This was the best monsoon of the summer. Complete with intense hail!

 Zoey is growing and changing every day. She loves her daddy.

And our Zoey bird just turned six months! This was her at five months. What a little gem.

//

 My dear friend/room mate from Bible School came to visit! We've been so fortunate to see her nearly every summer. Not often more than a couple of days, but my heart rejoices that I've actually been able to see her at all. She's a dear soul sister in Christ and I am so thankful for her. I miss her so.

 Love this shot.

Kate and her dear road-trip friends. Two of the four summers I've seen them I've been pregnant. How fast life goes, man.

Last week Zoey's torticollis came back, this time with revenge. It was rough to see our sweet birdy have such a hard time with her neck. But after many stretches and extra tummy time, she's back at it and stronger than ever. So incredible how the body works and what growth spurts do to us. In her case, a physical growth but, but I can feel the inner changes during an adult-growth spurt. Equally they're not fun, but oh so worth it.

My Grandpa passed away a week ago. It was a bittersweet time as family gathered from all over (including my dear brother, his wife and their little Junebug!) It was so wonderful to see all of them, though sad to sad goodbye to my dear grandpa. He's the first relative I've lost in my adult life and death is a tough one. There's great joy knowing that he's with Jesus, but it's hard to say goodbye.

Grandpa's legacy. And there were even some missing.

Cousin friends! They're only two weeks apart. Loved meeting Junebug. Can't wait to watch her grow!

LOVE this shot.

Jack gets in on the fun.

Grandpa and three of his five grand kids.

My cousin, Mandy's little girl Elly loved holding Zoey. It was so precious.  The two of them were like baby-twins and I can already see that their disposition is similar. So amazing to have cousin's kids look similar! 

Ender, another cousin's kiddo. So cute in his little pants!

 Cousins and toys and legos. Oh my goodness.

The girl's crashed. That was a rough weekend on little babies. 

Cousins and Uncles looking through pictures of years past. A favorite pastime for most of us.

Leslie and Ender. Such a dear friend and fellow dreamer.

My cousin Mary and Elly. (p.s. those are the best cookies in the world. Mmmm..)

Aunt Connie, Mandy and Abbie. Abbie has perfected her smile-from-the-internet. LOVELY!

As if to bid Grandpa a good farewell a beautiful monsoon made it's appearance with fierce winds and light rain. We ran around in the grass to try to take it all in.

My sister in law, Mel and Juniper.

Abbie and Andy. 

An attempt at a family picture. I'll try to work it with it to lighten the orange, but that was the only one where I didn't look pregnant. Sorry, mom! ;)

And to polish off the weekend we celebrated dad's 60th birthday early (since everyone was there.) It was complete with a chocolate cake and Olive Garden takeout. So wonderful.

More pictures to come...and more thoughts. But for now, my little two year old is holding onto my arm after waking up from a good nap.

...'til later.