16 December 2011

Home stretch!

This week, Zoey decided to turn head down. To prepare for labor. To get ready to greet the world with her little person. It's really happening.

The last few weeks have been both uncomfortable and painful as she was a little late to be lying transverse. After much, much prayer, praying for trust, a little bit of puslatilla, some serious lunges off the side of the couch, crawling on my hands and knees, and lots of walking she decided to get her rear in gear (literally.) So thankful and relieved that she's comfortable.
Last night I saw this movie for the second time. And it was great. This song is so beautiful and I find myself listening to it whenever I can. It's so simple and true. It also takes me back to my honeymoon and the magical moments with the man I love. Sometimes I miss those days, but mostly I can't wait for the adventures ahead and the getaways we'll have. Post babies, of course. :)

We also watched this movie the other night. It was so, so good. I highly recommend it! Kept us thinking for days. The story was fiction, but on true history, but oh so good.

and too bad I'll have a little one when this movie comes out. But can't wait to see it, none the less.

13 December 2011

december moments

December is flying by.

I am trying to enjoy each day of the month and attempting to do something special with the family. Mostly because I love Christmas so much, but also to treasure these last few weeks before Zoey arrives.

Over the weekend we ran errands and spent  the afternoon trying to coax Jack into taking a nap. He wasn't havin' it. So, we went In-N-Out, to the mall and let him walk and run as much as he could (and as much as I could.) It was one of my favorite days ever. It's so great to laugh with John and share jokes that you can only share with someone who you have known forever. And oh, how I love it that I've known him for how long I have. I love new friends, but I treasure, value and am loyal to those that I've known for years and years. It's like the friendship just gets better and better (though sometimes, true to life, it goes the other way) but for the most part old friends seem to just get better with each year. John is one of those friends. I really loved him when we got married, but I knew once our relationship seasoned more and more (we only knew each other for 9 months) that our friendship would deepen and ripen with time. It's such a great journey and I can't believe I get to spend the rest of life with him! 

All that to say, I had this moment as I drove the car to get new tires on Saturday. It was this brief, but so real, memory of living in Ukraine and spending Christmas alone with below freezing temperatures and in a country that shoots off fireworks for New Years and does very little for Christmas. I was loving the adventure, but couldn't help but feel really homesick for the future and for Christmas' spent with my love and a family of our own. I remember listening to this song with my iPod (a different version, but I like Michael's best. Of course.) and singing it in my head as loud as I could, praying for the man that was meant to be, wherever he was. Little did I know that the following Christmas I would be spending it with John and in Michigan with his family. It was such a beautiful and subtle reminder that Jesus' timing is so much better than ours and He truly hears our heart's. It made me so, so thankful for John and for our marriage and friendship and that he is a better man that I could ever have ever imagined (and I have a great imagination) and that he gets to be the daddy to our kiddos.

Michael Buble'. Gets me every time.


Kind of the biggest bummer of this last week was that our Zoey bird is in a very uncomfortable position. According to each ultrasound and my most recent appointment, she is transverse. Which means she's lying across my stomach rather than head down where she should be at 33 weeks. It. is. painful. Most days are really uncomfortable and I find myself dreading the nights, but I decided a few days ago to trust that Jesus will turn her. I've had my share of panic moments of wondering if she will turn? Will I have a c-section? Why is she transverse? But, like the first trimester of both of my pregnancies, that waiting and trusting time is challenging, but beautiful all at once. As soon as the fear comes to my mind I just pray and ask Jesus to help me to choose to trust, because on my own. I can't. But He is oh so faithful. I still feel worry creeping up often, but try to just trust and pray because I am running out of ideas and standing on my head off the side of the couch is getting old. ;)

Can you tell the little booger isn't lying the way she should be? Ouch, and ouch I tell you. But praise Jesus for each kick and....intense nudge.


The reality that it will only be the three of us for a little while longer is upon us. And Jackboy is finally coming to terms/understanding the reality that a little sister holds. Er, kind of.


Last weekend we had a huge snow storm and don't you know it, I took full advantage of the weather and made a lot of cookie dough and watched Holiday Inn. Oh, it was lovely.

The snow didn't last long, but was truly magical while it did. It snowed again last night, but has turned into a slushy mess by morning. Now it is officially raining over the snow.

Oh, these two. Two peas in a pod, I tell you. They are so much fun.


Jack has his 'favorite car' and he has named him 'Red.' He wants to sleep with him each night and during his nap and when he isn't found in the morning, panic arises. 'Favorite car, favorite car!" he says again and again. This is Red, shielded carefully in all his glory. I can't help but be reminded of Red from Shawshank Redemption and as soon as Jack named his car that, that's instantly what I thought of. The fact that he says "favorite car' and has named it fills me with such joy I can't even express it.

30 November 2011

I am really enjoying this show.

For anyone who loves fairy tales and misses Lost. You might enjoy this. There are four episodes on hulu and we've already watched them all.

29 November 2011

tis the season

I am such a sucker for Christmas music. Oh, my goodness. I could/and do listen to it year round.

This year, these are some of my favs:

I love me some good music.

I'm also a sucker for seasonal items. Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash? Hello! Peppermint marshmallows? Too much fun. Thankfully, Jack can enjoy it this year too.

After a pretty sickly last week our fam is on the mend. Our poor kiddo had an ear infection and bad sore throat. Just in time for Thanksgiving. The day before we got him some antibiotics and by Thanksgiving morn he was on the mend. I, however, picked up his little bug and felt pretty poor. These pregnancy immune systems, I tell you what. I've been more sick during this pregnancy with Zoey than I have been since my high school days when I had mono. For reals. Not sure why. 

Our little bird seems to be perched in this strangest of places inside me. I feel like she's lying sideways and often feel little fingers (or maybe toes) in my lower regions and it feels like there is a gang of mice scurrying about. I don't remember this weird feeling with Jack and am feeling kind of stretched in ways I wasn't before. Particularly when she stretches out, which is often. Oh, little one. I do love it, it's just kind of weird. I can't wait to meet her. We saw her last Monday on our 3D ultrasound. She was hugging the placenta like it was a lovey and we could hardly get a good look at her face (every ultrasound she's been in a weird place.) That was okay with me. Through the blurry picture (the camera had to go through the placenta to see her face) I was just thankful to see her. Watch her yawn, see her stick out her tongue and open her eyes. What a wonderful miracle.

Here's a blurry shot of her face. The placenta is right in front of her, but wow. There she is. Alive and well. Praise Jesus. Little eyes, nose, mouth, hand in front of her eye. She's a little person! Getting ready to grace the word with her presence.

Also, Jack has been sick a lot this season. Praying that December and January are infection free. 

Thanksgiving was really lovely. It was spent at my parent's house with my mom's parents, brother and his wife and their little guy. It was so relaxing and I even watched Miracle on 34th Street for the first time. I loved it. What have I been missing out on?

I did miss out on taking pictures because I forgot my camera...and spent most of the day on the couch anyway. Jesus knew that a sore throat may or may not have been the only thing to keep me from eating too much on Thanksgiving day.

I tried to make up for it when we got home.

Who is this little boy and where did my baby go? The below picture is from 2010, not 2011.

John showing Jack how to explore the tree house.

And this is how we spent this morning.  Watching Frosty with friends, in too-warm-for-December weather and loving this moment.

15 November 2011

beginning to look a lot like Christmas

I'm not sure what's wrong with me lately. I'm going crazy organizing different rooms in the house and binging a lot of things I don't need/haven't needed for a really long time. It feels great. I don't think I nested when I was pregnant with Jack, so whatever this is feels kind of weird. But really fun.

I brought Christmas a little early this year. Mostly because a dear friend gave us a new tree and I wanted to see how it looked propped in the corner of the room with all it's twinkling white beauty. It looks so comfortable and cozy and like a little safe haven. At night, John and I relax next to it and it feels like a little nest built just for us. We are loving it. 

Thanks to the help of another dear friend we repainted a couple of dressers to put in Jack's room. They turned out really great! I've been sorting through Jack's newborn clothes and trying to share the love with other friends who are having little boys. Somehow ;), little Zoey has acquired a lot of clothes (all second hand, which is a good thing) but a part of me chuckles and wonders if she will always have a lot of clothes? John seems to think that it's not surprise when a girl has a lot of clothes (Huh?) It's kind of inspiring, really. As of right now, John and I's closet space is pretttty much 50/50. Perhaps I should live up to his expectations. One day. When buying itty bitty baby girl things isn't more fun than dressing a pregnant 26 year old. Aka, never.

The last couple of weeks have been busy and I find my internal comfort clock running out. I know in about another month I will be pretty massive and fairly uncomfortable so I'm trying to do all the things I love to do (ie, sit on the floor and sleep on my back) before things get too uncomfortable. I do feel so different in this pregnancy than with Jack and am reminded, once again, that I can do a lot more than I think. The human body is really incredible and what I thought would be too straining or cause contractions has only given me some sore muscles and an occasional achy back. I have, however, run out of room to rock Jack. He defers to his crib these days and doesn't want to snuggle much at all. 
But, oh, how hearing his sweet new words is like music to my soul. He fills our day with words like, "Help you, mama" (help me!) and "Tank you, mama. Love you, mama." Every sentence ending in either a "Mamadaddy" combo or just plain, "mama" or better yet, "daddy." I try to remind him who I am, but sometimes we are seen as one, I guess. He's also learned more colorful phrases like, "Mine!" and "No night-night." and "Oh, man!" He's becoming a little parrot and tends to repeat our phrases. My current phrase is when I say to John, "Hey babe??" Jack repeats it over and over until he finds John. So precious.


Today I was reminded how much the dynamics of Jack and I's relationships will change when Zoey arrives. I love having play dates and spending time with friends (sometimes I enjoy this a little more than Jack, I think.) But I was reminded today of the beauty of embarking on an adventure just the two of us. To look at the fish at Petco. To share popcorn and stroll around Target. To giggle and laugh together and let him walk like a big boy. And is he ever big. This little person that used to snuggle so close and take twenty minutes to rock to sleep has become this boy who kicks in the cart and talks about each car and truck that we pass. I know it's only been two years, but it feels like so much longer. I treasure these days where we open the string cheesed in the cart (because we can) and talk about the raven that is landed by our car. Jack was so fascinated with the bird and kept asking if the bird was crying. This kid gets me every time.


A couple weekends ago we celebrated Jack's birthday with some good friends (and lots of delicious donuts.) Here are just a few snapshots from the day.

Instead of a cake we opted for a donut cake. Jack loooooves his donuts. Plus we have this really great local donut shop down the street and we go pretty much every Saturday. It's great to support the local places and their donuts are the best I have ever had.

The Birthday boy!

It even snowed on his day!

One of Jack's favorite friends, Addison.

Favorite shot of the day. I think Jack tried to eat the candle. That's his "I don't like that taste" face.

Loves his sprinkles. Like his mama.

love balloons.

To make the day a real party kind of day, we later dressed up and headed over for my dear friend's 29th Roaring 20's Birthday Bash! It was so.much.FUN!

Everyone dressed up and it was a great mix of husbands and wives and older and younger ladies. We have a Monday night Bible study that we do with some of the older ladies.

Some of the girls.

Some of the wise golden girls.

Happy Birthday, Keri!
Large and in charge!

Keri and her man, Orion.

It really was a great way to end a celebration filled day. But man, I wasn't prepared for how tired I would be the next day. Still tired from that weekend. Just kiddin'.
So thankful for good friends, beautiful weather and a two year old who is over his cold. Ready for Christmas? You bet.

02 November 2011


Typically, Jack doesn't really want me to rock him to sleep anymore. He prefers daddy almost every time and when I do rock him it isn't for very long. Tonight, he wanted some seriously snuggle time. John is at a meeting and it's just me and Jackboy. We rocked, we sang, we laughed and I felt myself holding back tears as I realized that these moments will become less and less. Already Jack has to share my lap with his little sister and she's taking up more and more room. He's hunched over my belly, with a truck in one hand and his blanky in the other, rocking back and forth like he's hugging a balloon or something. His little sister is kicking up a storm, but I don't mind. It's kind of like it's just the three of us, hanging out. A foreshadowing of what's to come. Except for there may not be enough room on my lap to rock both of them to sleep. 

There are so many moments with Jack that I love, but rocking him to sleep is one of my top five, easily. Most of his day is spent from one thing to the next, barely stopping for an occasional tickle or comforting hug. He's not just saying "up" anymore, but telling me about the cars and trucks outside, that he wants to color and eat a snack. Today, for the first time, when he hugged my sister he said, "squuuueeeeze burrger." (which is a saying my dad always said to us growing up when he gave us a hug.) It was so precious. 

The moments of carrying him across the parking lot, rocking him to sleep, and his cry to hold him when he gets hurt are so quickly passing by. I know they aren't meant to last forever (praise Jesus!) and yet today they are so constant, so everyday life. I pray to treasure each moment just a little more, especially as the reality of it becoming the four of us draws nearer. These last two years with just me and Jack have been such a blessing and it makes me slightly envious of all those first-borns out there. Oh, I know they have other issues, but come on. It must have been great (too bad most can't remember it.) Today, Jack wanted a "group hug" with me and John and once again I was reminded how much his world will be rocked when Zoey comes along in February.


Here's a few snapshots from his birthday over the weekend.  

Our two year old with a yummy chocolate donut.

Oh, and my sweet cousins (leslie and arica) stopped by with Leslie's little guy, Ender. Arica is fanning away his stinky diaper and I just love his little face. So good to see those guys!

Jackboy loves his cars.

 Fall has stumbled up on. Love the changes.

Halloween Eve my sister and I carved pumpkins and watched The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. I kind of may have wanted it to be affair, but...didn't happen. John gave Jack a bath instead. Didn't stop me.

 After a couple battles with a so sleepy-still recovering two year old, we opted out of the Thomas costume or the Girrafe costume and settled for a Lumber Jack instead. Glad we did because he looked too cute.

Last year. 2010.

This year. 2011.

Jack, with his little pal Ellie.


I wrote a bit about our trip to Michigan, but hadn't posted the pictures. Here's a few from our adventures in John's homeland.

Jack and his cousin Caleb. Jack still talks about him. Why do cousins have to live so far away? (story of my life)

our getaway/flu trip to Mackinac Island. It was so beautiful. Cold, quiet and perfect to stay snuggled in a room. It reminded me so much of Bible school in England.

Our trip to the Pumpkin Patch that lasted about....45 minutes. Jack was a little over stimulated, or two. Same difference.

He literally pulled John's hand everywhere. I just laughed and took the pictures. John has kind of reached his limit.

He slowed down enough to see the chickens
 and eat two whole donuts. Yum.

Later that day (while Jack napped. Sorry, kiddo.) We went to a beautiful apple orchard to pick apples (or eat, whichever) and breath in fresh fall air.

Where we dream of taking family pictures next year. 

 John, demonstrating to me how I should pose.

The best I could do.

 Our precious nephews and niece. Such a joy to get to see them.

 John's sweet parents. We enjoyed a lot of laughter and time with family (and bowls of popcorn.)

Goodbye hugs all around.

This pictures cracks me up. That's all.

Evening singing with the VanTrapp---er, Dickerson fam. Such fun! 

Jack, last year at the pumpkin patch.

This year he still loves tractors. John did get a new fleece, which is a plus.
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