the time with the mud

between 6 and 7pm the sun starts to descend and the air cools. it's one of our favorite times of the day.

the kids escape to the backyard and explore every inch of land that our fence holds. 

this particular day it was quiet. too quiet. but we were tired and if i remember correctly i was taking a 7pm snooze on the couch and the screen door was open to hear any chaos that may be happening. john was catching up on the news. we heard laughter but we weren't quite expecting this. and not jack, but zoey. somehow the binky joined the fun and somehow she had in caked in her hair. she wouldn't come out at first when i called her name. she was hiding from me. when she saw me i couldn't help but laugh. snap a picture and laugh. oh, kids.

but let's be real. we're in a drought! so of course the kids were told they couldn't play with whatever any more. 

our house

Our little home has been de-cluttered and deep cleaned and just this last week went under contract to be bought. Our first home as a family and where so many dreams came true, sickness fought, loss grieved, diapers dirtied, newborn tears were shed (and postpartum ones), friends laughter and change embraced because, I mean, what else can you do? I have fond memories of dance parties on this carpet and late night chats and little hands learning to walk holding onto that windowsill. Oh, time. You're rushin' me!

and change, my goodness, we've had our battles. i fight it like a kid fighting sleep, but then when it comes it isn't as scary or hard as i had thought. then sometimes it is and i wonder why i didn't fight it harder. ha. but most of the time, it is good. 

(I should probably document here (and tell my future-Jack---you handled this decision like a CHAMP and we cried and talked about how we would remember him, but ultimately we let go and got a set of caterpillar dump truck off amazon, to help ease the pain. It helped, but we will always miss him.)  We had to re-home our sweet, sweet Materboy. He is the best dog in the entire world and it was a decision that was so very difficult for us to make. Once we learned we were moving to California (and renting) I just knew that Materboy belonged in this mountain town. He needs a big backyard and a place to run around. We have dear friends who have a 12 year old male lab who Mater loves. They would graciously watch him for us if we ever had to go out of town. The pup is spoiled well there and lives like a little prince! He will have a great life. He is missed and fondly remembered and watching Cars and seeing Mater the tow truck will always be bittersweet for us, but we know he'll have a good, happy life. Complete with his rawhide every night and his kong of peanut butter every morning. Though we will miss our Materboy.

We watched countless monsoons and winter storms out those windows and that lovely, constant Arizona sun poured in every afternoon and morning. It kept our moods from dragging and our skin warm on cold winter days. The backyard, a beautiful escape and child's dream, should not be messed with from about February - May as though juniper trees really get to us, but other than those months it is always full of cozy coops and truck races. We shall miss you, backyard, though I have a feeling our next backyard will be full of new adventures and new hiding places. Can't wait to discover it. Jackboy is a sucker for nostalgia, just like his mama. I keep trying to remind him of the new memories we'll create there. I'm telling myself that too ;) 

It's always interesting to see how people process change, whether sudden or with notice. Some become nostalgic and remember, sometimes through smiles and sometimes through tears, the past and suddenly become very reflective people. Others fight against it, like trying to swim upstream, and hang even more tightly to the few things in life that are consistent, because there aren't many after all. The only constant thing in life is change. Well, that and Jesus! Amiright?

while daddy's gone

Mornings start early in our house. 

Zoey typically woke up early when she nursed, but after a little snack would sleep in another hour or so. Jack often wakes with the sun which is great, except when that sun pours into his bedroom window at 6am. Since John has returned Jack comes in as soon as his eyelids flicker open. I think he's half expecting his daddy to be gone or something.

if Zoey sees her dolly she has to join her for breakfast. Too cute.

I do love a sweet Jack-cuddle, but he is getting bigger and doesn't quite know his own strength. There's a lot of waking up to kicks or bonking heads or an arm suddenly across your face. 

I'm not a very kind morning person.

Unless I've had a bit of time. Ten, fifteen minutes is all I need to grab a cup of coffee, sit in silence and be ready to face the day, make the oatmeal and start in on sippy cups, bananas, and special vitamin juice to help move our three year old along.

But, like most kids, our's hit the ground runnin'. I will say, although I am not much of a morning person there's a certain someone who I love and married and he's even less of a morning person. We're talkin' it takes about 30 minutes for him to fully wake up. It used to really bother me, but now it just makes me laugh. Every morning. And I've learned the importance and beauty of giving him some space. And often handing the kid's over once breakfast is ready to escape into my room for a bit and read and listen to something inspiring. and try not to feel guilty for leaving a half-awake man with two little kids. John assures me he can handle it.

//

While daddy was gone we played. The new favorite past time is removing each and every cushion and creating forts. It's really cute and Zoey gets into it too.

There isn't many places that this girl goes without her blanket. Unless I sneak them back to her room, she will find them and she will grab them for a quick cuddle. Oh, man. It's the cutest thing ever. She's not really partial to any blanket and in fact in the nursery on Sunday she was clinging to someone else's blanket most of the morning.

I love the light in our house right around 4pm. It's just perfect. I love capturing these little moments so that one day, when my hair has greyed and Zoey's has turned long and wavy that I can look back at these and smile. Those were some precious days.

While daddy was gone we did a lot of pretending. Jack has recently taken to "car play" and wants to have little car conversations all day long. This is something that's hard to balance for me, but something I always wanted to be for real intentional about. It's like you have this little person whose depth of imagination hasn't quite ignited yet and you get this amazing opportunity to foster it and encourage it along. So, we pretend, and I encourage him to pick names for his cars. The other day he looked long and hard at his airplane and finally said. "His name is...airplane." And so it goes. I tell him he can name it anything he wants, but he prefers their given names. Which is totally fine with me.

Today we were rescue airplanes and squelched forest fires. We got caught in the smoke and a friendly car came and saved us. His eyes were beaming the entire time.

Here he is towing this huge car with his little one.

Jack and Zoey also did a bit of playing. She really loves him and yet sometimes he doesn't know quite how big he is and how little she is. I try not to "rescue" her too much and let her set her limits, but it is necessary to referee. I think.

Here's Jack trying to show Zoey how to nurse her baby. I was doing the dishes and looked over to see him lift up his shirt and nurse her baby doll. It was so cute. I missed his moment, but was able to capture him trying to show Zoey how to. She was wearing a onesie so yeah, that didn't work.

oh, these two.

Snowing in Spring

Living in Arizona the weather is never really "normal." Summer days in December and incredibly intense monsoons in July leave us with drastic temperature and precipitation changes within a weeks time. Kind of crazy, but I like it.

I have a weird fascination with weather. I remember being as young as a 3rd grader and watching the weather channel before school. I loved seeing what was coming that day and week. I have wonderful memories of waking up to very gray cloudy skies and thunderstorms on summer mornings. Thunderstorms that crept into swim team practice and forced us to evacuate the pool. I remember heavy ice storms and snow on cold winter mornings. If I close my eyes just right I can still remember the excitement of having a snow day as a kid. Growing up in Ohio, the weather changed every week. I loved it.

Needless to say, Arizona is sunny and beautiful and full of birds chirping and bike riding, but this midwestern girl misses a lil weather variety.

So when a snow storm was barreling through our little city, John and I were like kids again. We watched the lights flicker and got a flashlight, we put extra blankets on the kids and got ready for a great storm. There was hail, thunder and then deep blankets of snow. Oh, it was glorious.

And 70 degrees by Thursday? Well, alright. As long as we don't say farewell to winter permanently, please.

Before we know it Monsoons will fill our hot afternoons and the summer heat will be upon us. But not just yet.

//

Life with two is going well. We are figuring out our rhythm as a family and as husband and wife. Though not easy, it definitely is new and fun.

I think my most challenging days so far are Sunday and Wednesday/Thursday. John is gone nearly all day on Sunday and getting the kiddos ready, fed and out the door for church is kind of tricky. The hardest part is Jacks early wake up call. 6:15am yesterday. Yikes. John leaves by 6am which leaves me flyin solo. But Gods grace is so good and needed. He gave me the blessing of having Zoey sleep really well on Saturday night and then when Jack got up, He gave me for real supernatural strength to get through the morning, and feel alive. I tell you what, I was so thankful because on my own I am a pretty crabby mess that early.

But the day went well! Tiring, but good. Both John and I crashed on the couch later that night, watching one of our favorite shows. We were that tired. He said he tried to wake me up like ten times but I wouldn't have it. I don't remember that.

So thankful that my dad will be up here on Wednesday when John has a late meeting and an early morning meeting on Thursday. Thank you, Lord. Just the bit of extra help during these early months is so appreciated.

My two young cousins and Aunt came for a visit a couple weeks ago and it was awesome to catch up with them a little bit! Too quick of a trip.