most valuable possessions

Father's Day is tomorrow and I really want to take a quick moment to dote on the incredible daddy to my kiddo's. i don't brag about him often enough on here, but tomorrow is free game.

john with jack when he was first born.

john with Zoey when she was first born...

looking through these pictures my heart melts with how much this guy loves his kiddos. there have been numerous occasions when we've talked about the huge responsibility and constant attention it takes when kiddos are this little. we try to laugh at most of those moments because we know they'll be gone before we know it, but also john will always say. "they're our most valuable possession. we gotta take care of 'em." (referencing a track on a ben folds album) fills my heart with love and thankfulness every time he says it.

John works hard. he is an old school hard worker, i think. he gives 110% and doesn't think a second about it. he comes home exhausted somedays, often needing to work more after they're asleep. but as soon as he walks through that door and his voice rings out "hello, hello?" the kids squeal, i squeal and he greets us with hugs and kisses.

He is so intentional. Whether its teaching them about how a car works or life lessons through a bed time story he tries to have purpose behind the things he tells them. he is often filling their little heads with Truth and Grace. He is intentional to be an example of Jesus to them and is quick to say sorry to them when he needs to. he can often be found on the floor with them, creating little stories with cars and trucks and making jack giggle. he puts them down most nights and if i walk close enough to the door i can hear him singing them "their" song and cuddling and kissing on their little cheeks. since both Jack and Zoey were both babies they would hum along with him as he sang. so precious.

he throws away the "schedule" of the day, if need be, and will spontaneously do something he knows one of them will love. he loves them differently yet equally and tries to remind them how he loves them often.

he doesn't waste much time. he knows they grow so fast and he's trying his very best. 

it's not that it comes easy or second nature to him. he is a driven planner who thinks strategically and factually. he could easily work until they were in bed and leave before they woke up if he had to. but he doesn't and every day he makes that sacrifice for them. every day he doesn't complain, but rather pushes through because he loves them.

because he loves you two.

jack and zoey, you guys have an incredible daddy. 

you really are his most valuable possessions.

the end of an era.

this last week was our last night with the homegroup we've been lovin' and growing in for the last year.

it was just time. time for a break from leading and time for a season of just going to a group. time for more groups to form as there's so many people at church who want to be in a community group. it's good and healthy, but it was still a 'lil bittersweet to say goodbye. (just to seeing them on tuesday nights.) these friendships have become really incredible.

so we had a pizza night to fare-thee-well. we made a ton of pizzas and ate and played with babies and talked about theology (okay, i wasn't part of that discussion, but i heard it going on.) jack particularly liked homegroup, as you can see. it was (one of) the highlights of his week.

(we're even missing two couples.)

i really dig community. like, if i could i would live in a kibbutz. my man, not so much. he loves his space and alone time and an area to stretch out in his comfies.

i think what i love so much about community is this idea of living life together. of sharing in the joys and trials of life and coming alongside each other and asking how to help or how to celebrate or how to just be with them.

the group grew so much over the year. babies were born, longed for, adopted and lost. the heart of the group was molded together as we prayed for each other, with each other and wrapped an arm around the other while they cried. this was the first time in our married lives that we really got attached to a group together. we were doing it, living in community and raising our kiddos together.

if it were up to me, there would be this space in time where every single friend i've made over the years would be and the groups and connections that were formed would be there too. you could go and visit at any time (any one, not just me.) and reconnect, re-live, rejoin those lives and just for a moment share life with them once again.

obviously, and unfortunately, life is not like that. besides a reunion night or a trip to fly to see them, most connections are in the past. and that's okay. it's life and we're all growing and changing. it's healthy. but that doesn't stop me from missing it.

but life is hard and busy and being in full time ministry every day and leading staff meetings and elders meetings makes it hard to lead another thing. i think we were optimistic that we could balance it all and host and lead a group in our home. the good news is i discovered what it looks like to host something and it isn't half as scary as i had thought. it was a lot of work, yes, but we found a rhythm and we had a snack schedule.

we're joining a different community group with other folks but won't be hosting or leading. i think it will good and a different role for this season. every time something changes it kills me a lil bit. i like my routine, man. i could literally do the same thing or eat the same lunch for months on end. but every single time we have faced a huge change (which, being married to john happens quite often) God has always used it for the good. it has always grown us, deepened our dependency on Him and stretched us in a new and different way. routine is good and it can be beneficial in many ways, but change is just as good and i'm learning to kind of embrace it. still takes me a little bit, but i'm getting there.

wow. i'm really going to miss this group more than i had thought.

6 years, baby.

This kinda made my day.
Jimmy Fallon gets me every time.



And this one. I literally can't stop laughing when I watch it.



//

Last week we celebrated 6 years of marriage. Since years since us young two got hitched.

In some ways, I am so thankful the six years have passed. Our relationships has grown in depth and we've learned how to better balance, encourage and inspire each other. We've learned each other's quirks and triggers, ways to show love and be loved. We've connected in a way I never knew was possible to connect with another human being. 

I'm so thankful we stuck it out together too. We met and were married within 9 months, which leaves for a lot of "who are you, really?'s" in the air. It was tough, those first couple of years, and there were times we weren't how we could make it, but somehow we did. truly by God's grace.

John truly brings out the best in me and encourages me to be the best version of myself I can be. He's taught me so much about God's grace, security in yourself, grace for others, what healthy alone time looks like, what kind of cars to drive, quirky Science facts and the best news articles out there. He's taught me the beauty of reading a good book, going for a long walk and having goals for the future. He's such a great balancer and truly my best friend. 

a family from our church asked if they could make dinner for us for our anniversary and it was truly magical. they also have two incredible teenagers that watched the kiddos so we could all be in one place.

 It was like a secret garden where we ate and the food was seriously amazing. They are such an incredible couple and God has really used them in our lives.

The Arizona sun set and it got breezy enough to put on a sweater. Perfect weather in my opinion.

The kiddos had a pretty fun time too. They're growing so fast.

Here's to many more years together and continuing to grow and learn from each other. 

zoey bird

We found out a couple of weeks ago my little miss needs to wear orthopedic braces to help align her feet right. She puts almost all her weight on her hips when she tries to walk and it's causing her to walk on the inside of her feet/mostly on her ankles.

I would imagine it would be painful, but she doesn't seem too bothered.

She is a trooper. 

We noticed it a few months ago, but didn't have a chance to say anything until her 15 month checkup with her doctor. Our not-impulsive or overly concerned Doctor was concerned and referred us to a orthopedic therapist. (I wonder if that's what they're called...ask me in a year. I'll know a lot more ;)

I really love physical therapy. Like, if I could go back and do school over I would probably study that. For kids only, p.s. Adult physical therapy seems more like counseling-therapy to me. From what I hear.

I am fascinated by little human's development and the way we progress (though not all the same, which is totally cool.) Zoey's therapist is sweet and kind and does not lay on any guilt. I kind of dealt with my mama-guilt when I found out Zoey had torticollis. Turns out a lot of kiddos with torticollis have this issue with their feet. Did not know that. Did not even know to keep an eye on her feet. Good to know. Though I would have watched out for it if I had known.

I just sort of have this feeling that our Zoeybird will always be a little more fragile health-wise. She got a bad cold at 2 weeks old, has had more fevers in her first year than I think Jack has had in his whole life. She pretty much catches everything that is going around. She's petite and maybe that makes her a bit more vulnerable? I'm not sure. But man, she is so sweet and cuddly when she is sick. She isn't inconsolable or overly fussy and just needs a little more lovin' when she's not feeling too well. I'll take it.

oh, that face. come on. I die.

You can really tell in these pictures how far out her feet went. I grew up in a family full of kids who walk like this. My brother and sister especially do and so do I. Though I have a high arch and not the flat feet. It definitely runs in my dad's side of the family though.

What amazes me is the affects it can have on her future. Without therapy, Zoey would have learned how to walk, eventually, but because she puts all that weight on her hips she would have major hip and knee problems later in life. She would have really bad bunions and probably need surgery for them when she was in high school. She'd end up walking on her ankle bone, which isn't a bone meant to be walked on. 

Incredible what little braces can do to affect the rest of her life. So thankful for them and the funds to be able to afford the braces. 

As crazy (and selfish) as it sounds, the hardest part for me with all of this is all the therapy I need to do with her throughout the day at home. I feel unconfident about the different stretches and gross motor activities her therapist wants me to do. I know it's good and it will help, but I'm just trying to keep up with these two, ya'll. I want to help her all I can, but that adds some extra work to my already busy-work day. 

Is that selfish?

Yes, kind of. 

But it's my comfort, you see. My comfort that, when threatened, kind of rocks my world.

I adapt, it just takes me more time.

And I'm learning to let go of that comfort that I'm not entitled to, that was never promised to me. I'm learning that we will all have health problems, one way or another and I just have to go with it. I can't change it and it just gives me an opportunity to trust God more. 

Of course we'll get Zoey the little braces, because I love her and my heart longs to see her dancing around a room (or on a stage) and running on a track or hiking the grand canyon (I'll be waiting at the top ;) without pain.

and keeping up with this guy.

'cause man, does she ever love him. She gets so frustrated that she can't keep up right now.

I know you're pain, Zoey. Sometimes I wonder how I'll keep up too.

Now, if she doesn't have an interest in sports (which would come as no surprise to us considering who her parent's are) than we will be as physically active as possible to get our money's worth on the car--I mean braces that she's gonna need.
just kiddin', girly.