30 March 2005

completely knackered.

.the funniest thing happened to me the other night.

i could go over details and go on and on and on about it and for those of you that really and truly want to hear it, give me a call, but my end result?

God has the biggest sense of humor.

I mean, in the reality of it all, we serve a mighty and victorious God, but also He is our Abba and in being that--He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what will surprise us, what will scare us and exactly how much of that we can handle. It's surprising really, this sense of humor He has, and every time I feel like I'm going under and there's no hope of rising there He is, smiling with the result. And I just laugh, sometimes even giggling (imagine that! no, but seriously.) and feel humbled that He knows what He's doing and I'm just along for the ride.

What is this with these people never updating their blogs? It's going to result in phone calls because I don't know whats going on in their lives anymore...(what is this place. America? That we result to people's blog rather then personal phone calls? Oye vey.)

Ok, I'm off to study the-language-only-by-God's-grace-I-will-ever-understand.

25 March 2005

Were You There?

Were You There

"Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?
Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?

Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?
Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?

Were you there when God raised him from the tomb?
Were you there when God raised him from the tomb?
Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble.
Were you there when God raised him from the tomb?"

...tonight we sang that at church. Last week when we watched the Passion of the Christ and we sang this directly afterwards...the room was so quiet with only murmers of the word "tremble, tremble, tremble." thinking of what we had just seen and what Christ did for us.

...the moon was intense. not in a very direct way of the word, but it was so bright it lit up the entire neighborhood. abbie and i starred at it for a while, music playing gently throughout the car. we admired the moon not just because it was captivating, the way the clouds covered it like a thick blanket and the light dwindles until it is nothing but the shadow against the clouds. but mostly, i thought of the artists that try to recreate something incredible, painting, drawing, all sorts of art. most do incredible things and the beautiful and creativity of it all is amazing, but something that occured to me was that sometimes we try to go so far out of our way to discover something beautiful that can be created and forget to start right with the simple. the moonlight and the shadow of the clouds. Art is everywhere, God is the creator and perfector of it.

17 March 2005

Направление Бога

...somewhere beyond the trees and the water lies Israel.

...which means, "God's Direction."

This last week I had an all out for real, all walls down, honest talk with Jesus. I asked Him for clear direction with my life...to lead me where He wants me to go and for His own glory...to graciously give me His direction. And He did.

But, ya know, I don't know what made this time different then other times. I've been on my kitchen floor several times pleading with Jesus for guidance and He's just said "wait." and I've waited, and my faith was still as small and miniscule as it was before, but when I asked Him this past week I asked Him believing that He would provide an answer. This is something that while at school and sharing my day's with Hannatu (Grace) she would tell me again and again to have faith that He would answer. Faith? What is faith? To an African it may be the way of everyday life...but for a typical America, which, sadly enough I've come to realize that I am, faith means having it on a rare chance when you have tried everything possible, you have cried out and lost hope of ever getting out of that rut...that's when faith appears (also when Jesus enters the picture and picks us up, wipes us off and begins to take the stirring wheel.) and suddenly, we have lost control of our lives. and that's what HE asks us to do! Incredible!

So, last Tuesday I fasted and contined to seek direction, then I said to my mother "today, the Lord is going to show me what I am going to do with my life."

And the next day, on Wednesday, I got an email from a lady in England who works with Ebenezer Ministries. I had applied earlier that month and asked to go and work somewhere in either Russia or the Ukraine to help gether the Jews and help them make aliyah (going back to Israel) and she wrote back and asked if I would like to come in August or September...so this fall that will be my home, where Lord willing He will pour Himself through me to His chosen people for His own glory. This is the cry of His heart and I am overjoyed to think that He could possibly use me for Him.
I'll be moving to Odesa, Ukrane for three to six months and...although my mother may feel it's too far and too unsafe, I would be scared to death to be anywhere else but in the center of the Lord's will. Because the only place where we can be truly harmed is out of the Lord's will and that could be in our very own home town.
How do we be in the centre of the Lord's will? My friend Soteria once told me "it's having a personal relationship with Him so that when He call us, we go."

And those He calls, He equips...
Also, He works out everything for the good of those that love Him.
That's our Jesus. Our Abba. His unfaithfulness blows me away.
Praise Jesus.

08 March 2005

все собираются быть хорошо

...in other words, everything is gonna be alright.


my girls

Possibly two of my favourite pictures.

...I sure could go on and on about these two pictures and what they mean to me. I could explain it up and down and never fully get my point across because...that's just it. It's more than a point. More then a memory and a place in time when the most important thing in life was the best movie quote, or what we were doing friday night...it's all more than that. And to attempt to explain it would do it no justice so I leave it at this:

"When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No, I won't be afraid
Oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me, so

Darling darling stand by me
Oh, stand by me
Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me
If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Ot the mountain
Should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry
No, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me, and
Whenever you're in trouble
Won't you stand by me, oh stand by me"

Guten nact. Schlaf gute.

06 March 2005

an artist's perspective...

Spoken For

woman wiping Jesus' feet with her tears

Another demonstration of God's beauty! My cousin Sarah painted these for an Art Walk we have here in town...she's incredible. The first one goes along with the Mercy Me lyrics for "Spoken For" and the second is of the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears and dried them with her hair.


I am drawn back to that song "I was born to kiss His feet...isn't He beautiful?"

05 March 2005

Grapefruit trees and a Bucket of Rhymes


"...I think I'll go for a walk outside, the sun is calling my name."

Oh no! For once, there is no sun in Phoenix, Arizona but rather these beautiful dark clouds and skyt hat fills the space between the leaves and the random palm tree. Of course, in the direct center is the famous Grapefruit Tree that we all take turns picking. This, is Spring. The most pleasant time of year in Arizona and absolutely beautiful. Here comes the storm...and whatever the storm is, I feel ready. I feel ready to embrace it...why? I'm still not sure, but whatever it is I know He'll be there. In the words of the much appriciated Rufus Wainwright. My dear Kate introduce this song to me:

"I don't know what it is
but You got to do it
I don't know where to go
But You got to be there
I don't know where to fall
But I know that its comfortable where
I don't know where it is

...Putting all of my time
In learning to care
And a bucket of rhymes
I threw up somewhere
Want a locket of who
Made me lose my perfunctory view
Of all that is around
And of all that I do

I don't know what it is to get me over
To get me over
You gotta do it.
You gotta be there."
If you get a chance, check that song out.

Shabbot Shalom everyone!

02 March 2005

"O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above."

...Please, read it not just once but a few times over. Chew on it, think of it, remember it, pray upon it and see what comes of it. The words that swim throughout some music pierces this part of your heart that nothing else can reach. When the words in the music are glorifying to our God, it seems to reach the heart in a sort of different way...a more personal sort of way perhaps. I remember when I would ask Spiro again and again to sing it. "Just sing that one part, Spiro." and she would...sometimes when we were doing nothing or even sometimes in between lectures. This song is personal, its real...it's this choise we're given. Do we give Him our complete heart? Do we acknowledge how prone we are to wonder from our faithful God? It's my prayer for each one of you guys that this will become the cry of your heart...for His glory.
Liverpool - Semester 2 009 ...by the way, this is Spiro. This picture describes Spiro. Oh, there she is with John in Liverpool.
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