sleep, where art thou?

I uploaded Zoey's birth story. Up there on the tab bar.

 I can not believe it's already been a year. Crazy! It was so neat to write it and feel like it had just happened, only not really. So thankful for time passing since being pregnant and giving birth. It's such a whirlwind and kind of stressful for me.

Zoey is taking an unusual morning nap (perhaps because she was up at 6am?) and Jack is content and nearby. I normally love the upcoming spring (and still do) but the early sunrise kind of kicks our behinds. Arizona doesn't have daylight savings so there is no turning the clock back that hour and kiddos wake up with the sun. Even with blackout shades, for real.



Zoey is such an interesting sleeper and so, so opposite of her brother. Jack loves his sleep, still takes a near 3 hour nap every day. I have to wake him up almost every day. He is like his daddy. Even at Zoey's age he still needed those naps and didn't really love life without them.

Zoey can easily function on an hour and a half nap. She might not be the happiest camper the last hour of it or so, but she is ready for the day after she wakes up.



This can be so tricky and seriously exhausting.

I would hope that after only an hour and a half nap she would fall into a deep needed sleep at night and there would be no more worries. However, it's as if she gets her last burst of energy anywhere between midnight and 3am. She's been like this since about 6 months old and I can not for the life of me figure out why. I give her two naps, I nurse her back to sleep if she wakes up early, I've put her to bed later, I've let her sit in her crib and talk/cry for an HOUR and she's still just a bubble of energy and just can't seem to fall asleep. Of course I have given her tylenol thinking she might be in pain, but that didn't work so well either. So weird. I trust that shortly after she is weaned she might find the love and blessing of a full night's rest. The last few nights have been good. She's gotten up to nurse, but fell right back asleep (thank you Lord!) but this morning she was up at 6 and yesterday it was 6:30. Which I'm okay with really. I'm an early bird and that typically means she'll be ready for a morning nap around 9. It's just the middle of the night-life that is killin' me. I mean, she is just too cute when she is awake so it's hard to be frustrated and she's not crying (besides outbursts every 15 minutes or so. Kind of hard to sleep through that in the other room ;) so it can't be that annoying.

She's pretty much talking to herself. I have moments of laughter in the middle of the night thinking of her being a 2 year old and waking her brother up so they could play at 3am. Knowing Jack he would hardly open his eyes and just mutter "go back to sleep" and she probably would. I know she'll get there, but I just had to document this so if another lil kiddo is like this I can reflect and feel comforted (? Kind of?) I've googled it (of course) and it is very common and most mom's don't know what to do. We aren't into crying it out (although I have definitely tried it with her) but she just has to no tears. She is simply ready to party. Can't say I blame her.

beginning to look a lot like Christmas

I'm not sure what's wrong with me lately. I'm going crazy organizing different rooms in the house and binging a lot of things I don't need/haven't needed for a really long time. It feels great. I don't think I nested when I was pregnant with Jack, so whatever this is feels kind of weird. But really fun.

I brought Christmas a little early this year. Mostly because a dear friend gave us a new tree and I wanted to see how it looked propped in the corner of the room with all it's twinkling white beauty. It looks so comfortable and cozy and like a little safe haven. At night, John and I relax next to it and it feels like a little nest built just for us. We are loving it. 

Thanks to the help of another dear friend we repainted a couple of dressers to put in Jack's room. They turned out really great! I've been sorting through Jack's newborn clothes and trying to share the love with other friends who are having little boys. Somehow ;), little Zoey has acquired a lot of clothes (all second hand, which is a good thing) but a part of me chuckles and wonders if she will always have a lot of clothes? John seems to think that it's not surprise when a girl has a lot of clothes (Huh?) It's kind of inspiring, really. As of right now, John and I's closet space is pretttty much 50/50. Perhaps I should live up to his expectations. One day. When buying itty bitty baby girl things isn't more fun than dressing a pregnant 26 year old. Aka, never.

The last couple of weeks have been busy and I find my internal comfort clock running out. I know in about another month I will be pretty massive and fairly uncomfortable so I'm trying to do all the things I love to do (ie, sit on the floor and sleep on my back) before things get too uncomfortable. I do feel so different in this pregnancy than with Jack and am reminded, once again, that I can do a lot more than I think. The human body is really incredible and what I thought would be too straining or cause contractions has only given me some sore muscles and an occasional achy back. I have, however, run out of room to rock Jack. He defers to his crib these days and doesn't want to snuggle much at all. 

But, oh, how hearing his sweet new words is like music to my soul. He fills our day with words like, "Help you, mama" (help me!) and "Tank you, mama. Love you, mama." Every sentence ending in either a "Mamadaddy" combo or just plain, "mama" or better yet, "daddy." I try to remind him who I am, but sometimes we are seen as one, I guess. He's also learned more colorful phrases like, "Mine!" and "No night-night." and "Oh, man!" He's becoming a little parrot and tends to repeat our phrases. My current phrase is when I say to John, "Hey babe??" Jack repeats it over and over until he finds John. So precious.

//

Today I was reminded how much the dynamics of Jack and I's relationships will change when Zoey arrives. I love having play dates and spending time with friends (sometimes I enjoy this a little more than Jack, I think.) But I was reminded today of the beauty of embarking on an adventure just the two of us. To look at the fish at Petco. To share popcorn and stroll around Target. To giggle and laugh together and let him walk like a big boy. And is he ever big. This little person that used to snuggle so close and take twenty minutes to rock to sleep has become this boy who kicks in the cart and talks about each car and truck that we pass. I know it's only been two years, but it feels like so much longer. I treasure these days where we open the string cheesed in the cart (because we can) and talk about the raven that is landed by our car. Jack was so fascinated with the bird and kept asking if the bird was crying. This kid gets me every time.

//

A couple weekends ago we celebrated Jack's birthday with some good friends (and lots of delicious donuts.) Here are just a few snapshots from the day.

Instead of a cake we opted for a donut cake. Jack loooooves his donuts. Plus we have this really great local donut shop down the street and we go pretty much every Saturday. It's great to support the local places and their donuts are the best I have ever had.

The Birthday boy!

It even snowed on his day!

One of Jack's favorite friends, Addison.

Favorite shot of the day. I think Jack tried to eat the candle. That's his "I don't like that taste" face.

Loves his sprinkles. Like his mama.

love balloons.

To make the day a real party kind of day, we later dressed up and headed over for my dear friend's 29th Roaring 20's Birthday Bash! It was so.much.FUN!

Everyone dressed up and it was a great mix of husbands and wives and older and younger ladies. We have a Monday night Bible study that we do with some of the older ladies.

Some of the girls.

Some of the wise golden girls.

Happy Birthday, Keri!

Large and in charge!

Keri and her man, Orion.

It really was a great way to end a celebration filled day. But man, I wasn't prepared for how tired I would be the next day. Still tired from that weekend. Just kiddin'.

So thankful for good friends, beautiful weather and a two year old who is over his cold. Ready for Christmas? You bet.

flashback friday

flashing back. once again.

to a day like this. my childhood family room posing with my grandparents. I think I was five. please note the gun above the fireplace. yeah, my dad is kind of into guns. for hunting, of course.

to this day. a week ago sharing brunch with grandpa (and grandma, though not pictured) now older, slower and that much closer to meeting His Savior. I asked him how he was doing and he looked at me with that sparkle in his eye and said, "well, you know, I'm old. I don't mind getting older, I'm just so thankful for children who love God and know Him." I'm so thankful Jack got to ride on his walker.

learning to adjust to growing older and that this is not our home.

+++

I took Jack outside today to let him explore the snow. He just sort of starred at it. It might have seemed deep to his tiny legs, but he loved it all the same. He stood, taking it all in and looking around as if the yard was a forest. It must be to him. I wonder what everything else seems to him? Does he see his crib as his very own home? Because he sure does love playing in it. I could leave him in there for about 20 minutes or so and he will read books to himself, play with toys and simple just have conversations with himself. I can say where he got that from. I was quite the inventor of imaginary friends as a kid. I wonder what he'll name his friends. What does he think when I play music really loud and dance around the house? Does it sound like a live concert to him? I should probably not turn it up so loud. What does he think about driving in the car? Eating cookies and ice cream? Meeting strangers who want to love on him, but he has no idea who they are? What is going on in that little blond head of his? What does he think when John and I tease each other? What does he think when I tell him not to unroll the toilet paper? I don't think he thinks anything besides the fact that it is fun and he wants to do it. Yup, pretty sure that's it.

 

We're in for a ride with this one. Wouldn't have it any other way.