Every Holiday since we started having kids, I've been going through this process.
This process of perspective and realizing that being married to a Pastor requires sacrifice and that sacrifice gets into my personal space when Holidays come around. My parents did an incredible job at filling our homes with traditions, memories, delicious food and celebration. I love that about my childhood. I want to create our own traditions with my kiddos and celebrate each Holiday to the fullest. However, Easter and Christmas (two of the very best) are a big deal at church. It's such an amazing opportunity to tell people about Christ and His coming as a baby and dying for the sins of the world. Such a powerful and needed message to share. My hubby pours his heart and soul into the process and barely comes up for air. He is serving Jesus with his whole heart and entire life and that's the kind of man I prayed for and love. So why do I get all pity-party-Mel when holidays come around?
I asked myself this Saturday night as I put my kid's Easter baskets together. John was working and there I was, feeling sorry for myself again and how all the Holiday planning and prep is kind of left to me (which I do realize is very common whether or not you're married to a Pastor ;) After a good hour of this, Jesus so patiently and graciously reminded me that this sacrifice is what I'm called to do, what my heart desires to do, what I had told Him I wanted to do alone in a flat in Ukraine in 2006. My greatest desire is that people come to know Jesus and He is using John during this season of our lives to do so. And He's using him during Holidays and suddenly my Holidays aren't mine anymore. They are to be shared, with the Body with friends who are alone and with those who need to hear the message of Hope. So what if our kid's don't have every memory of their childhood that I did? (I write this, secretly asking Jesus to still give our kids a fun childhood, even without every tradition I had.) They'll have their own memories and how cool to think that this is all that they'll know. And here I have such an opportunity to share with them why their daddy does what he does and the sacrifice that they make, in sharing him, Jesus sees and knows and it's worth it.
and look at those two. they don't even know that there are supposed to be cinnamon rolls or coffee cake on Easter morning (we had hot cross buns) or that mom is supposed to hide their basket. They're just excited to eat candy. (and rightly so!)
they both loved sixlets.
I met with a dear mentor and friend who is also a Pastor's wife and has raised two kids. And man, she did a great job. Holidays were just always different, she told me. They celebrated on a different day sometimes, had different sort of traditions and that's all her kids knew. And they loved it.
I wonder what our kids will say, some twenty years from now when they're starting their own traditions with their family? I hope they look back, recalling how their parent's served Jesus with their whole lives and those sacrifices we all made, were made for Christ and He saw each one. I hope they are a little less selfish than I am in having to have everything just the way they had it when they were a kid and that they can be okay with trying something new. Because new is good. New is fresh and clean and necessary. Oh don't you know I've carried on many traditions that I had as a kid, but also some of John's and some new ones along the way. Because that's how it goes, I guess. Maybe that's all it is, maybe it's just another phase of growing up that I'm resisting because my childhood was really magical. Maybe I've been in denial up until now. Either way, it is time. This whole growing up and having kids process. It still feels so weird, yet here it is. Here we go.
Zoey had been fighting off a fever the night before and cutting two big molars. She is just not herself these last few days. Is it chicken pox? What is it?
I seriously was dying. This is so hilarious. And so reminds of these moments from a while ago.
We went to my parent's after Easter service and it was a grand time. Zoey still wasn't her usual self, but she was happy none the less.
and Jack had the time of his life on the trampoline with his cousins. he is still talking about it and asks to go back every morning.
Zoey with Aunt Leilani. That blanket, so great.
My brother said, "don't take a picture of me." love that face.
Jack and Papa.