Two Things I am a little Embarrassed To Admit:

1. I had another dream about the Jonas Brothers last night. I don't even listen to their music (very often) or watch their TV show (.....very often)! I keep having this dream where I will meet them and just want to be their friends. So weird.

2. I finished New Moon in one week. Which, for anyone who has read the Twilight series knows that's not big deal, but John kept saying, "Mel, you have to pace yourself. Once it's over it's over." But I couldn't help myself, it was that good.

//
Last night was the first night of our birthing classes. It was great. We had a wide variety of character in the room and it was so nice to be around pregnant women and not feel like the only whale in the room. A friend of mine told me the other day I need to be around other pregnant women and I won't feel so large. "Yeah right." I thought to myself, but as soon as I walked into that room with all those other pregnant bellies and swollen feet I realized she was right. I did feel normal.
Anyway, they opened the class with this clip from my favorite, Bill Cosby. I think John and I were the only ones laughing out loud, but I couldn't contain myself.

Why can't stand up be this funny anymore? (Though there IS plenty of funny stand up comedy out there.)

//
My dear, dear crony and her dear husband came for a visit a couple of weeks ago. It was a great reunion full of laughter and great quality conversations. One night I realized that she and I share a gift of being able to hold a conversation pretty much 24/7 if we wanted to. There's rarely a silence, dull moment or a speechless reply. There is always an opinion to be shared, a thought to be discussed, questions to be mulled over and plenty of jokes to fill the room. It was a grand visit.




Even Jack came!



The beauty of the Grand Canyon


//

Monday we went for our 3D ultrasound. It was awesome/weird to see these distorted images of our soon to be arriving son. I tried to be optimistic, but John couldn't help but say what he was really thinking.
"He looks like a walrus without husks!"
"He looks like a pig."
But what I kept saying over and over was...
"He looks like an old black man."
The technician tried to calm our fears by reminding us that the parts that seemed to stand out were just the closest things to the camera and the way he was positioned.
It was so surreal to see him. It's really happening.

Those are so John's lips...

That's his hand/cord in front of his face

He's rubbin' his little eye..

Those are John's toes! But I think he has my big toe. (Sorry, kid.)

All I could think of was Bill Cosby when I saw this picture.

Last night I was reminded of what life was like a year ago. It was the end of our second carefree summer as a married couple and Scottsdale was at the peek of it's heat. It was miserable to walk in, drive in, and live in. The nights cooled down, however, and brought with it the monsoons. We would turn off all the lights in the house, lay on our bed and watch the lightening display it's beautiful self across the city sky. It was magical. Often times we even opened our windows so we could smell the fresh rain hit the hot pavement.
This morning I thought back to August of 2008. It was a monsoon night and our electricity went out. We lit candles and opened up the screen door so we could listen to the thunder and smell the rain. I wish I could have seen where God would take us from then until now. One year ago tomorrow we mourned the loss of our unborn little one. It was too early to tell the sex of the baby, but I like to think it was a boy. We had only known for a total of two weeks so in many ways it felt like a wonderful vacation and the loss was the feeling you get when you return home and deeply miss the moments you had the week before. Our little bean was unplanned, yet planned and rejoiced over. Looking back, I was young and a bit naive of the depth that pain could go. It was a broken and hard process. I wish I could say that every painful event will result in something that will make the pain worthwhile, but I know that isn't true. Although the pain was real and heavy, it was comforted and carried by Christ. Those tender weeks after that would often end in a weepy mess, but I was reminded of Him and how I knew He could resonate with my pain.

Sometimes it doesn't help to have someone tell you how to deal with your hurt, but rather just be in the hurt with you. I'm still not sure why we lost our first little one, but I do know where he or she is and that he is safe there. This morning I felt the need to mourn the loss, but rejoice in the present. However painful, the experience drew me closer to Christ. These words felt/feel truer to me than ever before,

"Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down"

Here we are, August 2009, and the
monsoons are welcomed once again.
Our setting, however, has changed a little. We now live beyond
those mountains and in the hills of Prescott and
we are welcoming our second little one into
our lives in November.
I feel undeserving, a little overwhelmed and ecstatic all at the
same time. It's a wonder that is possible to feel all of that at once.

Though time doesn't take away the loss of our little bean, it does
unveil my eyes to the beauty in the way He works.
Even if it hurts.

On another note, I found this song that has captured my attention. It is originally
by Wilco, but has been redone and put onto a baby lullaby cd. It's captivating
and beautiful. To do it true justice, you should probably read the post that I
read while I listened to it,
cjanerun

the summer at a glance

I am a little nervous the child growing within me is going to be big. I'm only 26 weeks and he's kicking up a storm and growing like crazy. I have an appointment on Monday and while there I will ask the question, "Is he going to be a giant?" Not that anything would be wrong with a giant...I just don't know if I'll be able to birth one naturally.

Ladies at the store keep making comments. "Are you trying to sneak out an extra watermelon under there?" or "When are you due?" (and after I tell them.) "WOW. He is going to be BIG."

However big he may be, he be welcomed. and joyfully. We can't wait. 94 days to go!



This summer I spent watching my nephews and niece up at a camp. It was hard work, but full of rewards as you'll see in these next pictures.

I had no idea she was sticking her finger up her nose in this picture. How cute is that?

Maggie also came to help me out for a couple days. They loved her!

"Hi Jack!" He kept saying. After we went outside for a walk he came back in and said, "Is Jack tired?" I thought about the question for a second and then promptly responded with, "Yes, he is!"
Ethan

And the newest addition--Dominic! (He's Ethan's little brother) Isn't he cute?
Nolan kept saying "cheeeeeese" the entire time I took this picture.
I just love these kids. It's hard to believe that I've watched these kids since they were this little...
and I can hardly believe John will soon be doing this with our own little guy... Crazy how fast time flies.
Kate also came for a quick visit! She was on a road trip with two of her dear friends and could only stay for a little over 24 hours. Oh, what a dear 24 hours those were. She is greatly missed.

So there is the summer at a glance...thus far anyway.

The summer thus far has been busy. It's good to be busy when it makes time past quickly, but not so good to be busy when it makes you tired all the time.

I have had enough time, however, to discover the beauty and wonder of pandora. It's my new obsession. Favorite station thus far? Regina Spektor has been great fun.

Ideas are swimming around our heads about what to name our little guy and how to build his little fort (his room, actually.) There's still time, so I don't feel the pressure just yet.



Our kiddo is indeed growing...and kicking and rolling and dancing. It's been delightful.

He's getting bigger, that little guy...

A morning walk...John loves the mornings. (or not.)






Just a few ideas we have for our little nursery. It's still coming together, but I told Rachel I'd post what we've come up with.

It's a BOY!

(and that's his profile, not proof that he's a boy. I felt that might be a little too much. ;)

Still in a bit of shock, yet wildly excited, we can't wait until November to meet our little guy. John was so convinced it was a girl so it was pretty funny to see the obvious in the ultrasound on Tuesday.
"A boy. Most definitely a boy. Don't you see his junk?" The technician asked. We all laughed--uncontrollably and for a while.
We're still thinking of names, though we have a favorite. In due time...

This is what our kiddo would look like if we could put a camera inside and snap a picture--isn't that amazing?
...The bump keeps growing, which is a blessing in itself. He kicks often for both of us to know he's there. Like we could forget. Or would want to.

at 20 weeks


On another note, I had a great dream last night. I was back at Capernwray (where I went to Bible School) and it was like a ten year reunion or something. Everyone that we went to school with was there--including extras. The school had done a remodel and had somehow grown another two stories. It was pretty much like Hogwarts, come to think of it. A lot like it. Someone told me in the hall that there was even a detached wing called "Enchanted." I saw old friends and gave hugs and had some laughs. I saw my friend Kate and she quickly reported that her entire suitcase had "exploded" on it's trip up the stairs. Literally. How a suitcase explodes, I don't know. I then saw Sharelle who was giving someone a big hug and I immediatly wanted to go and hug her myself. Another friend Irena was there (on a beach that the school had recently added, it was awesome! ) with her daughter and we chatted for a while. What an incredible adventure. To say the least, I was very disapointed when I awoke to discover it was all just a dream. It started my day well, though.

This one is for you, Rach

As a neglectful crony (sorry Rach, here are the promised pictures.) I have failed to reveal the fact that we are expecting our first little blessing and miracle on November 3, 2009. It's true. We are taking the leap. Scared? Yes, a bit. Glad that the first trimester is over and I can once again eat things without feeling like I'm going to puke? DEFINITELY.

We had a miscarriage in August so we really wanted to make sure things were going well before we told people. Praise God things are going good. Although this has been a heart wrenching, faith stretching experience it has been a good one.

So, here we are 16 weeks into the adventure.

I had to add this picture in here because it's too hilarious. There are birds nesting in the house next to ours and John can hardly stand it. He goes out there about five times after he gets home to shoot down the birds with a BB gun. He's killed one and injured three others. I try to convince him to stop, but he's adamant. I couldn't help myself when he was in the middle of getting and went outside to go get one last shot. He deserved this picture, I say, and as soon as I said, "Don't move." He rushed inside yelling, "Wait, let me change first!" But that was the best part! He is great. And ready to be a dad. I think. I hope. No, he is. :) ;)

By the way, I had these chocolates a couple of weeks ago and they. were. A-MAZING. Extra creamy, milk chocolate, with toffee and almonds. Basically, it's a cheaper version of a Toblerone bar.

Last, but not least, it's been thunder storming these last couple of days and it has been glorious.

I love the smell of Arizona rain.

blogworthy material:

My brother's band just released their first CD on universal records. I am so excited for them. They've worked so hard and it was so fun to see them rollingstone.com and on itunes new and noteworthy.
If you want, you can buy their new album on itunes

or visit them
here

or See their video
HERE

or merely just revel in the joy with me. :)
What a good way to start the day!