17 March 2015


today is been a day to slow down it on down.

Zoey has had a high fever and so we have spent the majority of the day on the couch, running the thermometer over her forehead (like a crazy lady, cause that is what I do. Not proud of it.) watching Paw Patrol, eating and drinking as often as she can. I really, really dislike when my kiddos are sick. It scares me so much. However, this time and for the first time in my mama-hood, I feel like I have a deep peace that they are going to be okay. That she is strong and brave and her body can kick whatever comes her way. We found out last week that our little birdie needs tubes put in her ears. That was scheduled for Thursday, but with the high fever we've had to postpone it. For who knows how long she has heard life as if she were under water. What a bummer for our life-loving girl! I will not deny that I love the snuggles and cuddles on the couch and as she falls asleep. She's growing up so fast.

We also miss our little one in Haiti so, so much. I think about her all the time and wonder how she's doing and feeling and growing and what she's learning. We get occasional updates which do my heart such good. She is thriving and seems to be so happy and strong.

A big change is about to happen for our little fam and as bittersweet as it is, we're anticipating great growth as John recently took a job as a teaching pastor in residence at Venture Christian Church in Los Gatos, California. Our hearts feel so sad to leave behind our family at Cornerstone, beautiful mountain town and all of our dear family and friends, but John and I both feel deep in our hearts that this is where we're meant to go. Change is never easy, but it is the one constant in life and so we embrace it, move forward and pray for a smooth transition and an armful of adventure.

I was nervous about telling the kids, I'll be honest. I don't handle change well and I, again, realized I was about to project my feelings of deep dislike for change onto my kids. I knew I was faced with a crossroads as I practiced how I would tell them. I could cry and be sad and fear their response and the disruption that this would cause on their little lives. Or, we could celebrate what God is doing, anticipate all the new that California would be and reflect so fondly on our season here, but also look forward to all that will happen there. It wasn't easy, especially for sentimental me, but to my great surprise, my kindred-soul son looked up at me and John and replied, "Okay! When do we go? Can we bring our beds with us?"

So there you have it. Too young to realize the great change that awaits, but adventurous enough to dare the leap even if it means to leave behind all that is familiar and comfortable and wonderful. I've done it so many times and each time does get a little easier, except for saying goodbye to dear friends (and family) that were made along the journey. I have such a deep love and appreciation for good friends, authentic conversation and lots of laughter. Along the road I've met so many wonderful kindred spirits that I will forever hold so close to my heart. Every goodbye has not been easy, but Jesus is always so faithful to provide friendships in every change of season. The length of friendship varies, but that is what is so beautiful about life and people, they are every where and all it takes is listening and loving.

It's the starting over that is hard. Reintroducing yourself. again and again. And yet there's something beautiful about that too. A fresh start and a chance to do different what you wish you had done. A chance to really remember that Jesus is and always will be all that the depths of my soul needs. As much as I like to think I need to fill it with friendships, He's the only one that can fill that (bottomless pit, let's be honest. ha!)

So who knows what this next journey will bring? The unknowns sometimes keep me up at 3am, but lately I've realized that whatever it is, it will be good. Especially because our Jesus leads us and our little tribe gets to go together.

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