06 September 2011

labor day

The last week has a been a bit heavy. Not very much for me, but for those around me. It's been so encouraging to see friends come alongside each other and carry grief and sadness and pain together. No matter what, painful trials are so difficult, but what beauty in sharing the load. To pray for peace that only Christ can bring and the closeness that He promises.

Jack's favorite spot. On his daddy's lap reading Car and Driver.

Jack has suddenly turned into a real little boy. The baby is nearly gone (despite the binky and diapers, mind you) but I feel his changes happening so quickly, it's hard to keep up. The words, the mimicking little voice, the giggling and running. We had my brother and his family and my parents up for the weekend. It was so great to see Jack adore having other kids around. He crawled with his younger cousin and raced cars with his older cousin. Any kid who wants to play? He is in. ...I think he might get that from me. ;)

Happy Birthday to Papa!

On Labor Day we played at a nearby park and watched the clouds roll in...

A great storm that came later.

A friend showed me this article and it made me smile. We're nearly halfway there with this pregnancy and in my heart of hearts, I know I don't really have a strong conviction about whether or not we have this little one all-natural like we did with Jack. Was it beautiful? Yes. Was he healthy? Yes, by God's grace. Was it traumatic? ...Um, yes. And here's my theory: there are adventure seekers who love a good roller coaster, jumping off of a cliff into freezing waters, camping in the middle of nowhere, rock climbing, para-sailing, skydiving, etc...the list goes on. They love the thrill of a risk and feel this empowerment of looking at a dangerous, scary, thrilling task and saying, "I got this. I can do this." and then they jump. And it's scary, but so awesome and so worth it. I admire these type of people and love being around them because they nudge me in the risky direction. I, however, am not that kind of person. Oh, how I wish I was. Growing up with two older brothers, I hated being the wimp who had to turn back because I was afraid of getting lost in exploring our woods, or having my cousin hike my back down the mountain because it was too high for me. Haha. I am just not a risk-taker. I barely made it to a very, very rustic cabin in Canada and I made John put up a tent in the cabin because I don't love mice or bats. I have learned a lot about myself over the years and have come to terms (and am really okay with) the fact that I don't enjoy risks. I like consistency and "safe" experiences. I like to laugh and joke and say things like, "I can do this." because believe it or not, some of the most simple, every day tasks are daunting to me and are still a 'lil scary. But Jesus has brought me a long. A long way.

and so, all that to say, I really loved giving birth to Jack without an epidural, but I don't think I'll do it again. I am ready to try a different avenue, and one that does not include traumatic nightmares afterward. Gotta love those risk-takers...and to be honest, I still feel like I am one, by just being a mama.


Nessa said...

Oh my goodness Mel! He is getting so big. Those curls are so handsome!

Skywaitress said...

Don't let anyone guilt you one way or the other about how you decide to give birth. All that matters in the end is your precious baby.

You are amazing for birthing Jack naturally. You will be equally amazing if you choose to have an epidural or anything else. Don't let anyone tell you any differently.

Melissa said...

Hi- I just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading what you wrote about having a natural child birth vs. not. I found it encouraging. :)

Les is more said...

honesty is a risk. i totally benefited from your leap. Thanks mel!

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