our house

Our little home has been de-cluttered and deep cleaned and just this last week went under contract to be bought. Our first home as a family and where so many dreams came true, sickness fought, loss grieved, diapers dirtied, newborn tears were shed (and postpartum ones), friends laughter and change embraced because, I mean, what else can you do? I have fond memories of dance parties on this carpet and late night chats and little hands learning to walk holding onto that windowsill. Oh, time. You're rushin' me!

and change, my goodness, we've had our battles. i fight it like a kid fighting sleep, but then when it comes it isn't as scary or hard as i had thought. then sometimes it is and i wonder why i didn't fight it harder. ha. but most of the time, it is good. 

(I should probably document here (and tell my future-Jack---you handled this decision like a CHAMP and we cried and talked about how we would remember him, but ultimately we let go and got a set of caterpillar dump truck off amazon, to help ease the pain. It helped, but we will always miss him.)  We had to re-home our sweet, sweet Materboy. He is the best dog in the entire world and it was a decision that was so very difficult for us to make. Once we learned we were moving to California (and renting) I just knew that Materboy belonged in this mountain town. He needs a big backyard and a place to run around. We have dear friends who have a 12 year old male lab who Mater loves. They would graciously watch him for us if we ever had to go out of town. The pup is spoiled well there and lives like a little prince! He will have a great life. He is missed and fondly remembered and watching Cars and seeing Mater the tow truck will always be bittersweet for us, but we know he'll have a good, happy life. Complete with his rawhide every night and his kong of peanut butter every morning. Though we will miss our Materboy.

We watched countless monsoons and winter storms out those windows and that lovely, constant Arizona sun poured in every afternoon and morning. It kept our moods from dragging and our skin warm on cold winter days. The backyard, a beautiful escape and child's dream, should not be messed with from about February - May as though juniper trees really get to us, but other than those months it is always full of cozy coops and truck races. We shall miss you, backyard, though I have a feeling our next backyard will be full of new adventures and new hiding places. Can't wait to discover it. Jackboy is a sucker for nostalgia, just like his mama. I keep trying to remind him of the new memories we'll create there. I'm telling myself that too ;) 

It's always interesting to see how people process change, whether sudden or with notice. Some become nostalgic and remember, sometimes through smiles and sometimes through tears, the past and suddenly become very reflective people. Others fight against it, like trying to swim upstream, and hang even more tightly to the few things in life that are consistent, because there aren't many after all. The only constant thing in life is change. Well, that and Jesus! Amiright?

heat wave

This is going to be/is already a hot summer.

Can't believe it's almost July and perhaps this weekend heat will bring next week monsoons. I love those summer monsoons.

This summer has already been full of trips down to the "town square" as Jack calls it, playing in the pool, eating otter pops and dinner outside. It's been covered in sunscreen and red, sun brightened cheeks. Late bed times, early rising and late night breezes with popcorn and my man.

I'm trying to love the heat and the summer weather and so far, I do. I love seeing Jack's dirty, rough feet after playing barefoot out back and Zoey's contagious love for the sandbox and water table. She loves being outside and could live out there if I let her. If Jack goes out alone she stands at the screen door screeching "ball! ball!" until I open the screen door and she can totter out to gather her favorite balls. 

These two have found their little friendship. They giggle, they cuddle, they fight, they chase and they love. They really love.

But when time is still for a few minutes and big brother is distracted by a train set or matchbox cars, Zoey bird loves to sit and read a book, look at designs on a blanket or cuddle with her baby and bear on her rocking chair. She's very contemplative and will take intentional breaks to take in the world around her. Pretty precious.

And man, does this girl love to eat her grub.

Physical therapy is going really well. I am so encouraged each week as I see her grow and change and in the last week she has discovered more words and sign language and a way to better communicate what she wants and needs. Her words of choice are ball, baby and bee-bee (that's what we can pacifiers) She always loves to shout da-da and mama and a whisper of "jjj" for Jack. Pretty cute.

She's a trooper. She never fusses about her braces and since Monday has taken many strolls around the house on both feet, hands mid-air to help catch her when she topples. She sometimes gets frustrated, but she perseveres and has great drive.

The physical therapist works so well with her. She is encouraging and patient and so good at what she does. So thankful for her and the help it is to our little one. Jack has adapted to share the attention (mostly) and his character is changing, especially his empathy. He doesn't mind giving up some attention for Zoey during PT and is discovering the beauty of what boundaries can look like. Today he announced to a room full of a people when Zoey started walking "look everyone! did you see Zoey? She's walking!"

My heart was pretty full.

These shots were from Father's Day. We went to a car show downtown. It was a beautiful day, just perfect for an early morning stroll around the square.

July,
We're ready for you. Please bring lots and lots of storms with you. We love watching the sky change and the rain fall. Plus we need some rain, bad.

The Big 3-0

Well, the day is upon us.

John turns 30 today. What a milestone, what an aging reality, what a beautiful thing.

He seems to be dreading it, but I love the idea of it (I can say that because I'm not there yet, thus, the reality of leaving 20 hasn't quite hit me yet ;) But mostly, I love the way 30 fits him. It fits him good.

Last night we were tempted by yet another monsoon (that didn't come) but we sat on our bed and took in the cool breeze and felt the rain drops through the window. It was a great way to end the last day of being in his 20's. We watched Return of the King (though I crashed around 10pm=halfway through.)

It's the end of a season, leaving your 20's. It's embarking on something new. Something incredible. It's so bittersweet. Life gets better with age and experience, but I love and cherish the younger years. Nothing is like them. I'm nostalgic by nature, but sometimes I cuddle/squeeze the kiddos and tell Jesus how very much I love this season. I know it won't last forever, but I really, really love it for now.

Which I like to remind myself in moments like this morning when Zoey wasn't napping (because she fell asleep in the car) termite inspectors were here filling me in on bugs and Jack was having a hard time with all the commotion and kept running to his room crying. By the time they left I thought I might lose it. By God's grace I got Jack a whole lot of strawberries to munch on, nursed the baby for a while and then returned to Jack to read lots of books. It evened out. ;)

Yeah, John wears 30 really well.

So thankful you were born, John.
I love the way you love Jesus and the way you give up everything to serve Him.
I love the way you listen and react.
I love the way you play with our kids and love on them day after day.

I love you for being you, warts and all.

Little John with his Mama...the picture that reminds me most of Jackboy.

John in Kindergarten

A baseball shot with his brothers...

John and his dad. Yeah, they look a lot alike!

 So glad your parents went for number four!

change will do ya good

The monsoons have rolled in this week. It feels so good to have clouds in the afternoon and hear the gentle hum of the evap cooler. I could get lost in these afternoons.

We've eaten so much fruit this summer, I wonder if we'll get tired of it. Rainer cherries, watermelon, peaches, raspberries, blueberries (mostly Costco-portions) Yum...summer. I think I might have developed a little crush on you.

Yesterday was hot. The hottest day of summer, so far. I woke up grouchy (very grouchy.) I thought you weren't supposed to get back an unpleasant visitor when you breastfeed, but apparently, my body just can't survive without it. I felt like I was 13 again, dreading the week of every month. Haha. I also woke up hungry, which is just never a good sign of how the morning will pan out. It was a hot night and Zoey wanted to eat most of it so I was feeling a little sleep deprived. Plus, I knew it was supposed to be almost 100 degrees. Not that I should complain, the rest of America has been a lot more uncomfortable lately.

I, just, don't really dig hot weather. 

But yesterday I decided to cheer up and embrace it. How bad could it be? I mean, come on, it's not Phoenix. It's Prescott. There's still afternoon clouds, trees, water...

So, Jack and I dug out the little kiddie pool, filled it with very hot (but soon cool) water and he swam around with his trucks while I soaked my toes. And man, did it feel good. We ate popsicles and chatted the morning away. I caught up on things on the social media side of things and he had a big truck to tow in the water.

It was all good until I got the bright idea to give him a bath out there. His hair had begun to stink (like a 2 year old's summer hair should) and it needed to be washed. I tried to make it sound fun; brought out bubbles and a wash cloth, but he did not like the idea. He didn't like the cold water against his bare skin and he did not like the idea of getting a bath outside. It just isn't meant to happen! It was pretty hilarious and I quickly agreed to let him go into the bath tub. As he sat down in his familiar environment he sighed, "I like my bath tub, mama. Not outside." 

Okay, buddy. Okay.

Jack likes his routine, his consistency...he likes things just the way they are. (Kind of sounds like another guy in our house..oh, and me.) 

So when I suggested he move to a big boy bed and let Zoey have his crib he looked optimistic at first, but when he realized what that actually meant. Oh, no.

"Mama, I like my bed. It my favorite. Zoey sleep in your bed." 

Which is true, but she's getting for her own space and Jackboy is in need of a big boy bed and pull ups and no more pacifier (Wow. Re-reading that makes me sound like I really want him to grow up. That's not it.) I just can tell he's ready. Every step of the way I wanted to be patient with him and let him go at his own pace. I didn't push tummy time, I waited until he seemed ready for rice cereal, he slept with us until 7 months (and until he was rolling in circles all night long.) I waited those extra months before moving him to the big boy carseat, because I wanted to make sure he was ready. But it was incredible how quickly he readjusted and embraced the new season. The more I tended to push change, the more he resisted. Going from two naps to one? Took him a while, but when he adjusted, wow. It was wonderful. It seems the older he gets, the harder it gets to change his routine. Which makes complete sense. I reckon it will keep getting more difficult the older he gets. He's human and a man of routine. I love it.

I kept trying to coax him into the idea of a big boy bed until he climbed into his crib, laid down on his pillow and yelled.

"No, mama! It my bed!" 

But I just have this feeling that once he's in a big boy bed, he will love it. Once he lets me set his little toosh on the toilet, he will love it! (He will also enjoy the incentives we have for him in the garage.) He knows it's coming, but I don't want to push it. I know he'll get there, but I know he can do it. He's a strong kiddo and change, unfortunately, is a very real, central part to life. I just hope I can teach him how to adjust with joy and grace. I imagine this is the whole dilemma that causes mom-anxiety and teenage angst.

Oh, Lord, give me grace.

And some thunderstorms this week. Please.