easter celebration

Every Holiday since we started having kids, I've been going through this process.



This process of perspective and realizing that being married to a Pastor requires sacrifice and that sacrifice gets into my personal space when Holidays come around. My parents did an incredible job at filling our homes with traditions, memories, delicious food and celebration. I love that about my childhood. I want to create our own traditions with my kiddos and celebrate each Holiday to the fullest. However, Easter and Christmas (two of the very best) are a big deal at church. It's such an amazing opportunity to tell people about Christ and His coming as a baby and dying for the sins of the world. Such a powerful and needed message to share. My hubby pours his heart and soul into the process and barely comes up for air. He is serving Jesus with his whole heart and entire life and that's the kind of man I prayed for and love. So why do I get all pity-party-Mel when holidays come around?

I asked myself this Saturday night as I put my kid's Easter baskets together. John was working and there I was, feeling sorry for myself again and how all the Holiday planning and prep is kind of left to me (which I do realize is very common whether or not you're married to a Pastor ;) After a good hour of this, Jesus so patiently and graciously reminded me that this sacrifice is what I'm called to do, what my heart desires to do, what I had told Him I wanted to do alone in a flat in Ukraine in 2006. My greatest desire is that people come to know Jesus and He is using John during this season of our lives to do so. And He's using him during Holidays and suddenly my Holidays aren't mine anymore. They are to be shared, with the Body with friends who are alone and with those who need to hear the message of Hope. So what if our kid's don't have every memory of their childhood that I did? (I write this, secretly asking Jesus to still give our kids a fun childhood, even without every tradition I had.) They'll have their own memories and how cool to think that this is all that they'll know. And here I have such an opportunity to share with them why their daddy does what he does and the sacrifice that they make, in sharing him, Jesus sees and knows and it's worth it.

and look at those two. they don't even know that there are supposed to be cinnamon rolls or coffee cake on Easter morning (we had hot cross buns) or that mom is supposed to hide their basket. They're just excited to eat candy. (and rightly so!)

they both loved sixlets.


I met with a dear mentor and friend who is also a Pastor's wife and has raised two kids. And man, she did a great job. Holidays were just always different, she told me. They celebrated on a different day sometimes, had different sort of traditions and that's all her kids knew. And they loved it.

I wonder what our kids will say, some twenty years from now when they're starting their own traditions with their family? I hope they look back, recalling how their parent's served Jesus with their whole lives and those sacrifices we all made, were made for Christ and He saw each one. I hope they are a little less selfish than I am in having to have everything just the way they had it when they were a kid and that they can be okay with trying something new. Because new is good. New is fresh and clean and necessary. Oh don't you know I've carried on many traditions that I had as a kid, but also some of John's and some new ones along the way. Because that's how it goes, I guess. Maybe that's all it is, maybe it's just another phase of growing up that I'm resisting because my childhood was really magical. Maybe I've been in denial up until now. Either way, it is time. This whole growing up and having kids process. It still feels so weird, yet here it is. Here we go.

Zoey had been fighting off a fever the night before and cutting two big molars. She is just not herself these last few days. Is it chicken pox? What is it?



//

I seriously was dying. This is so hilarious. And so reminds of these moments from a while ago.

We went to my parent's after Easter service and it was a grand time. Zoey still wasn't her usual self, but she was happy none the less.

and Jack had the time of his life on the trampoline with his cousins. he is still talking about it and asks to go back every morning.

Zoey with Aunt Leilani. That blanket, so great.

My brother said, "don't take a picture of me." love that face.

Jack and Papa.

christmas

I was on a roll there for a little bit.

Oh well. Sorry to my kids in the future that I am not consistent on this thing. Check out my instagram pictures though, I'm updating those daily. 

Christmas is one week away. One week! Each Christmas that I have been married to John has been a different experience. This one is no exception. On Sunday, an op-ed that he wrote for the New York Times was published . It was such a journey and so exciting to watch him live out his dream since High school. I am so impressed with his skill and gifting and can't wait to see how the Lord is going to continue using him as times goes on. I'm so thankful for his friendship and love and partnership. I will never know how he balances it all, but he does. And so well. 

Zoeybird a movin' and a scootin'. Everywhere. We got our first snow this last weekend and she loved looking at it through the window. She's such a fun little girl and full of so much life. She doesn't enjoy long, leisurely naps and just said farewell to her morning nap. (!!) That's hard for me. I love naptime. It's one of the highlights of my days. I'm sure she'll re-visit the 'ol morning snooze, but for now she goes down when Jack does and wakes up around the time he does. Which is totally fine with me. She recently found a babydoll in the nursery and fell in love. She talks to it and gets so giddy when she sees it. She loves seeing Jack and if I ever ask her "where's Jack?" she looks around and just starts giggling. She is still nursing, but loves food. Not necessarily baby food, but she loves food. I'm so thankful for her; her sweet nature and the little buddy that she is. I can't wait to watch her grow and develop and keep up with her big brother. I love seeing her and Jack together and they're really beginning to enjoy each other. They love to cuddle after naps and giggle up a storm in bed together. Jack especially loves to cuddle, but Zoey hasn't quite found a love for it just yet. 




Jackboy is talking up a storm. He loves to sing and is just beginning to pretend with his cars (a favorite pastime of mine. Pretending, not necessarily with cars. ;) He's active and adventurous and loves learning new songs and quoting his favorite movies. He loves to read books or "car-zines" with his daddy. Oh, and he loves his daddy. Today he cried for him for about 25 minutes before his nap. He cried at the window where John's car normally is and wailed about how he wanted his daddy and his daddy is his best friend. They are so cute together and Jack is such a mini-version of John. Next Sunday, Jack is singing in his first ever Christmas program at church. For all of three songs, but STILL. This is a big deal. An even bigger deal that he will stand there for those three songs (please, Lord!) He loves his friends, playdates, cars, Mickey Mouse, Mater the Tow Truck and Frosty the Snowman. He has so much love in his little heart and is constantly making us laugh. 

 



I can't believe how fast this year has gone, I can't believe that one year ago I was huge and pregnant and about to birth my second babe. I can't believe that in the last year I somehow (by God's grace and thank you Weight Watchers) lost a total of 56 pounds. I can't believe how fast Zoey has grown and how much joy she brings to my heart. I can't believe that John's book is about to be released and the changes that have happened at our home church. I am so thankful for change and growth and God's grace and patience. I'm thankful for the past and memories and childhood. I'm so excited for 2013 and for whatever Jesus has in store. I just hope I can keep up and savor those moments with the kiddos that are going so quickly. 

The Big 3-0

Well, the day is upon us.

John turns 30 today. What a milestone, what an aging reality, what a beautiful thing.

He seems to be dreading it, but I love the idea of it (I can say that because I'm not there yet, thus, the reality of leaving 20 hasn't quite hit me yet ;) But mostly, I love the way 30 fits him. It fits him good.

Last night we were tempted by yet another monsoon (that didn't come) but we sat on our bed and took in the cool breeze and felt the rain drops through the window. It was a great way to end the last day of being in his 20's. We watched Return of the King (though I crashed around 10pm=halfway through.)

It's the end of a season, leaving your 20's. It's embarking on something new. Something incredible. It's so bittersweet. Life gets better with age and experience, but I love and cherish the younger years. Nothing is like them. I'm nostalgic by nature, but sometimes I cuddle/squeeze the kiddos and tell Jesus how very much I love this season. I know it won't last forever, but I really, really love it for now.

Which I like to remind myself in moments like this morning when Zoey wasn't napping (because she fell asleep in the car) termite inspectors were here filling me in on bugs and Jack was having a hard time with all the commotion and kept running to his room crying. By the time they left I thought I might lose it. By God's grace I got Jack a whole lot of strawberries to munch on, nursed the baby for a while and then returned to Jack to read lots of books. It evened out. ;)

Yeah, John wears 30 really well.

So thankful you were born, John.
I love the way you love Jesus and the way you give up everything to serve Him.
I love the way you listen and react.
I love the way you play with our kids and love on them day after day.

I love you for being you, warts and all.

Little John with his Mama...the picture that reminds me most of Jackboy.

John in Kindergarten

A baseball shot with his brothers...

John and his dad. Yeah, they look a lot alike!

 So glad your parents went for number four!

dada day

The weather was designed for Father's Day this year. 

The sky was bright, the breeze was cool and we stayed home bound for this day. Normally we go to my parent's house, but between two sermons and a kiddo who needs a nap and doesn't nap well in the car, we decided not to go this year. After a gourmet meal of Arbie's beef and chedder, fries and a Dr. P, John settled in for a few episodes of his new favorite show, Prison Break. 

The best gift John gave me on Mother's Day was the freedom to do whatever I wanted to. John's really good at sharing the load when it comes to Jackboy, but on M-Day, he gave me the day off completely. It was just...incredible. I tried to do the same on Father's Day. He kept saying things like "Wow, this is so awesome!" and "I don't even know what to do I have so many options!" I should probably give him Father Day-like days more often, huh.

So, after nap time for Jack and three episodes of Prison Break, Jack and I ran to the store and John read a good book. We returned with strawberries in hand and a serious burst of energy to cook up some salmon, mashed potatoes, salad and strawberry shortcake. In short, it was delicious. Jack enjoyed some mac n cheese. (Our little squirt still doesn't eat a whole lot of variety) and some grapes while we sampled some pretty good, if I do say so, food. 

the earlier days, in which Jack made dada very, very tired. Oh, and mama too.

snuggle time, post work.

watching the first snow fall of winter

Our sick boy being cared for by his loving daddy.

Evening bath time.

Our Jackboy loves his dada. The first thing he says when he wakes up is, "Dada? Car?" and the first thing he wants is his daddy. I'm small beans compared to dad and that's okay. I get to be the go-to person for the rest of the day.

When John is home, Jack wants all of him. It's kind of border line pathetic, really. But ohso cute. They race cars around the couch, they build train sets and read books. Jack gets thrown on beds, couches, and over John's back to the sounds of many giggles. They go and sit in the car in the garage and while Jack drives, John catches up on the news. (Thank you, iphone.) John cuddles and loves on his boy and it is so precious to watch. Being the youngest of four boys, John wasn't groomed to love little kids, but oh has Jack captured his heart. I've loved watching him become a daddy and truly love the role that God has placed him in. 

They make a great pair and I feel privileged to watch their bond get stronger.

Happy Father's Day to my baby's handsome Daddy.

And Happy Father's Day to my wonderful Pop, too. We share so many things; our love for good music, our habit of picking our fingers, our thick, curly hair, our love for having a good time, good food and lots of laughter. I thank him for making my childhood one of the best times of my life. For every toss across the pool, trip to the farm, encouraging my timid self to do ride a bike and tickle monster attack on our living room floor. My love for him as only grown and grown.