these days

Jack turned five a couple months ago.



Five years old, and I haven't even had a chance to write him a letter. The months have woven together and time is barely giving me a chance to catch my breath.

Right now, my five year old boy is sitting next to me creating another lego masterpiece. No joke, a true masterpiece. I am partial, but I am also honest. I have found Legos to be one of our saving graces. That and Mater, our yellow lab. They are of the same kind, those two, and both have an excitement level that hit maximum a few times a day and each know how to love so unconditionally and fully. Mater is well loved and well cared for, even if it is through the kennel sometimes. We get him out after the kids have gone to bed (sorry kids) and let him roam around. But during the day he is either in his kennel or outside.

But back to legos, they have become a saving grace since Jack gave up his nap time. That was a sad day. Along with the day Jack said goodbye to binky.

But we have survived and our "lellow" saying toddler turned into a real Peter Pan boy (and has told me numerous times that he will never grow up and he'll stay a kid forever)

And he's turned into him. Jack Dickerson. Lover of numbers, puzzles, trains, car, legos, play dough and anything that is a challenge.

We have loved How I Met Your Mother (and are about to finish the series) and last night we realized how similar Barney and our Jack are. Praying Jesus intervenes in Jack's life before he's that age, but every time Barney says "challenge accepted." it's like a grown up Jack.

Happy birthday Goose,

Every day that passes I fall deeper in love with you. Your grin, your mumbles when you're saying a potty word, your giggle that is so contagious and wonderful, those deep blue eyes, your passionate spirit, your loyal friendship, your caring heart and the way you encourage Zoey and play with her, even when it's not cars and trucks.

You are a gem, Jackboy, and your strength and determination will follow you through your life. I already see the way you engineer incredible planes and trucks and trains. I see the way you enjoy alone time in your room and when the noise is just too much for you. I see the ways you are like your daddy and a precious mini version of him.

I love you Jack and every single part of you. The part that writes songs while we lay in bed at night, your heart for Jesus (and honest and real questions about Him and who He is and why He is that way.) The part that misses people and gets restless and lonely when you don't see your buds. The brave part of you that doesn't worry that gets nervous at the thought of seeing any sort of doctor or experiencing any sort of pain. But, my boy, you are brave.

You are all in, wherever you are, buddy. And that's going to take you places. Can't wait to watch you grow.

I love you.
Mom.

4 years old

Today I'm reminded of a similar day four years ago.

The colors had changed, a chilly breeze had taken Prescott by surprise and a frost was expected that night. Winter was quickly approaching and I was told that would bring on this large bundle I had been carrying. And it did.

Strong contractions started around 8pm and continued through the night. By 4am I couldn't sleep any more and knew he would be arriving soon. (well, he came about 20 hours later.)

I was a mixture of excited, thrilled, panicked and emotional. This moment was one I had dreamt of for as long as I could remember.

Fast forward four years and here we are, the 29th of October, and the weather is almost identical. Last week it was a warm 75-80 and today it is a high of 52. Frost is expected tonight, the wind is carrying away our beautiful fall colors and the sky is patched with clouds and a winter chill. It's one of my most favorite types of days. A perfect day to have a baby, if I do say so myself.

Time has swept up my baby and somehow turned him into a little boy. All the baby is (nearly) gone. He has so much to say, to share, to laugh about and confess (yes, he inherited that from me) He is so much fun. Almost every night after he's in bed John and I look at each other and smile, shaking our heads. He is really something. We can't believe we get to be his mama and daddy.

This year we learned how to navigate through potty training. And Jack did it! It took us a while, but thanks to some helpful hints from Uncle Andy and our great imaginations, he did it. He's so proud and so are we, buddy! (and he has a great new collection of cars to show for it, haha)

We learned how to show empathy with our baby sister when she was learning to crawl and walk. We also learned how to share attention both at home and at physical therapy for Zoey. Jack was a trooper and is one of Zoey's biggest fans.

I can often hear him in the other room talking to Zoey in a high pitched, kind and gentle voice saying, "Hi Zo-Zo, are you okay, sweetie? Come here, honeyyyyy." He loves his sister. They can be grabbing toys from each other one minute and the next be cuddling on the floor. I love watching this relationship grow.

Starting last October 2012, Jack has grown so much!

//

My dear goose,

Happy 4th Birthday, buddy! I am so thankful for you and every day I see your heart and character grow. I am so proud of you (you are?? you often say.) and YES. yes I am.

I love your honesty; the way you tell me right away when something not so great happened and when something wonderful happened. I love your heart.

I love the way you can recall song lyrics, Bible verses and quotes from one of your shows. You have a great memory and your pitch is really great, pal. I can't wait to see if you have a love for music like your dad and I do. (I think you already do ;)

This year we've been singing "I like you just the way you are" a lot. We try to sing it to you daily. I see how it lifts your spirits and how much you love it. I truly do love you just the way you are, Jackboy. I always will. Thank you for teaching me the importance of loving people the way they are, just like Jesus does.

I love seeing your empathy develop. For Zoey, for hurting people we know and don't know. I know sometimes it's scary to see people hurt or sad, but you're doing great learning how to love on people. I love that about you.

You love to take things apart and put them back together. Though sometimes those toys don't go back together and you get a little frustrated. I get it. Just the other day you were trying to fix something and you said, "I think I know what to use to put this back together!"

You also love play dough, to color, paint, and cut (you LOVE cutting) Sometimes I can't quite keep up with all the craft ideas you have ;)

You are so special and I am so, so glad I had you. I can't wait to see where the next year takes you. You just woke up from your nap, dizzy with sleep, but eager to get back to playing with your new toys.

Happy Birthday, Jackboy! I love you just the way you are.

love,
Mama

Happy Birthday, Jack! I am so thankful for you!

3rd Year

yesterday was jack's 3rd birthday.

we celebrated last friday, but the day was yesterday.

a new birthday tradition that he immediately wanted taken down so he could play with the balloons. too cute.

his requested cars cake! 

jack and his little buddies who he's known since he was a baby. they are so cute together!

it was a chilly morning, but they insisted on being outside. so cute!

i love jack's face in this picture. 

singing happy birthday, his favorite part.

the spread.

even zoey was in on the birthday fun!

such a great group shot! and ellie! jack's little pal who is more like a sister/twin.

ellie's daddy and sister, carly with zoey. they're about two months apart. so cute!

post birthday fun. checking out our "punkin's"

it was strange to think that three years ago last night we welcomed (a little painfully) a beautiful, healthy baby boy into our lives. also, in history, the east coast was hit hard by hurricane Sandy last night. such a real and scary devastation. 

several times yesterday i paused to tell jack about when he was born. i told him how excited i was and how happy to meet him. i told him my tummy was so big and when i met him i cried. he cradled his three year old self in my arms and said, "pretend i'm your baby, mama." and so i did. i tickled and kissed and rocked this growing boy. kind of surprisingly (but not really because he has a baby sister now) he turned and said, "can i nurse, mama?" i smiled, but said. "that's okay. just pretend." and he giggled some more.

i know one day soon he'll be too big to fit into my arms (this boy is growin!) and i love having little moments like those.

like when he wants you to cuddle longer before he goes to sleep. today before nap he took my arm and said, "lay with me, mommy." oh, alright. i am a puddle.

he loves to sing songs and have his back tickled. his new favorite is "only a boy named david" though runner ups are "car song (life is a highway)", "Jesus loves me" and "Jesus loves the little children. with his daddy he sings "be thou my vision" and knows almost the entire song.

things are changing quickly. it was as if when he turned three his legs got longer, his arms longer and more than ever i felt like my baby boy had turned into a little boy over night. 

to keep with tradition, i thought i'd write a short note for him to read when he's old and grown. here are a few from his other two birthdays, year 2 and year 1

--

dear goose,

another year past and here we are. you are three! you're such a big boy. you are really great at going to the potty and even wake up at night to go! i am so proud of you. i know i say if often, so often that you say it with me when i say it, but i mean it. i am so proud of you and all your hard work.

you'll figure out number two. it's a little more challenging, but i know you can do it.

you and your sister have such a sweet friendship. already you make her smile like no one else can and she loves seeing you as soon as she wakes up. i can't wait to see the adventures you will go on together.

i love hearing you chatter. i love your questions and the way you tell me all about your day and plans about what you want to play. you have such a sweet spirit and love to go and do. 

i already see so much of a team-work spirit in you. i'd love to see you on a football team or a soccer team. you love playing with your buddies, but you aren't afraid to stand your ground and say when you don't want to do something. i admire that quality about you and can't wait to see how God uses it.

this week you started tree house children's church. i'm not sure if you loved it, but you went. so glad you did.

your daddy loves you so much and you guys have such a great time together going for walks and exploring the neighborhood. setting up trains and reading "car-zines" as you call them.

i love you, my buddy. i love hearing you say "you're my boy" when i say it to you. i love the way you ask me every day "what's your name?" and want me to go through each person's name that we know. i love the way you've begun to pretend with your cars. when you race around the family room making car noises. oh, bud. i love how much you love cars. 

i can't wait to see you grow for another year and all the ways you'll change and develop. you already love to sing the abc's and tell me all the colors. oh, goose, i just love you.

remember to sing to Jesus and thank Him for the little things in life that you love.

i love you and i'm so glad i had you.

all my love,

mama

p.s. i especially love how you say pinata as "pinchacha."