reflect

It's been a while.
It's becoming increasingly more difficult to keep up with this, but I really want to. Really want to have something to remember these years by.
They're growing so quickly and I'm trying to be present and not let my nostalgic-keepsake self take over.

I hope I can remember the feel of their little fingers on my shoulders.
Their little voices that say, "Mama! Mama!" and beg to be picked up and chased or tickled.

Or that fine, delicate baby hair that grows at different speeds and is just now long enough to pull into a pony tail. 

Those full moon sky eyes that radiate joy and trust and cheekiness.

And as summer's warmth slips away, along with it goes the monsoons and stormy skies.
Snow flurries are coming in the next couple of months and as each season changes I love it more and more.

This summer was especially green. Once the heat of June passed and after the loss of the Hotshots, it was as if the rains couldn't stop. They were too late, but in a way it felt like the city was mourning too, wishing it could go back in time and have been pouring that Sunday afternoon.

Sometimes it's hard to slow down enough to embrace the moments. To stop and rest and choose to see the small joys that could easily be overlooked.

Kiddos do make it easier. They enjoy the moments much better than I can (part of why I love them so.)

Here are a few things and moments that I've loved this summer.

Eating popcorn in the morning.

Displaying hand-picked wild flowers from my boy.

Making forts on the floor and reading books on blankets.

Watching these two develop a friendship.
Today I overheard Jack from another room give Zoey her toy back and say,
"Sorry I took that from you, Zoey."

Such empathy and kindness and tenderness has sprouted from my little guy. He's all adventure, spirit and energy, but there's this sensitive side that Zoey is so greatly pulling out of him. I often wonder why I didn't have two boys; it just seemed like I would. I think I'm beginning to see one of the reasons why. Zoey's tiny features and wobbly walking stirs empathy and calmness in all of us (myself included) and her pleasant nature makes laughter more contagious and encourages more dance-a-thons.

But for my sweet people person son, she has really become a playmate and friend. I find them giggling behind couches and under cushions, reading books or driving around in his jeep. I know they'll go on wondrous adventures, those two.

And for this guy...his little person is developing more each day.
His spirit is ever ready to do more, see more, feel more, and learn more.
This week I've had a hard time keeping up with him. He's always on to the next thing, next adventure and idea. (sounds a lil bit like another male in our house)
For a while I felt like maybe I couldn't handle keeping up with him, maybe he needed more.
but then I remembered how brief childhood is and if not embraced, how much we would be missing. How many creative ideas used to be born in this age and are now limited to "classrooms" and monitored play and scheduled activities. I have nothing against preschool. I love it. But the kid will be in school for the next 16 years, maybe more. I don't want to lessen or cheapen him of his childhood experience at home, outside, at the park and zoo. Allowing him time and freedom to be 4 and nurture his relationship with his sister and to learn how to be alone and imagine exciting adventures all on his own too. Being okay with being alone has never been so lost as it is among us today and I just don't want to take that from him.

'cause this is it. this one short life that we have. I only have the privilege of having him home for the next 14 years. that's it. Can't believe our little goose is almost four already.