a look back

I meant to post this months ago. I just stumbled upon it today and man, how much they have changed.

Jack still has the curls that begin around the top of his neck and Zoey still has that dreamy smile that makes me miss her when she's sleeping, but somehow they keep changing. 

The seasons are changing once again and winter has quickly left this western state and spring is already upon us. I keep tabs on the weather in Ohio (where I grew up) and I know the grass (or snow) is always greener on the other side, but something about my past, my childhood, my roots makes me miss those white spring days when one minute it would feel like spring and the next we'd be preparing for a snow storm. I love diverse weather and wish I could pass that on to my kids.

But alas, Arizona is beautiful and perfect and a whole different time.

And maybe I love just love the changing weather because it reminds me of being a kid. Of snow days in March and building a fire while we my brother and I still pretend it's Christmas. And oh, when the thunderstorms and tornados come in the spring and summer, that is fun too.

Instead I shall educate my kids on the desert flowers and juniper trees (which we are all allergic too.) I shall make sure they know lots about scorpions and javalinas and monsoons and forest fires. The West has diversity to it too.

There is this awesome family in our church who have five kids. Five kids and she homeschools them all. She is a carefree, relational, and intentional spirit. I try to take mental notes when I'm around her because I truly want to mirror the way she interacts with her eleven year old son whose braces take up most of his face at this point. I look at her and see pieces of myself years down the road, connecting and  joking with my pre-teen Jack. The possibility of him being kind of awkward is high, but all I keep thinking is that I want him to know how much I love him and like having him around. Because maybe I won't (all the time...if I'm honest) and I'm pretty sure he'll need to hear it more than the way I show it.

My friend and I chatted about how to keep from lecturing and how to respond when a pre-teen wants hot chocolate at 10pm. And then I looked and both of my kids were screaming in the car. It was like 11:30, sorry kiddos. Lunch came next.

I know those years will be here sooner than I think, oh Lord, give me Your grace to raise this childin's. 'cause I have no clue what I'm really doing. 

This was August of 2012, our last trip to the zoo.

little Birdie.

Oh, those toes!