3rd Year

yesterday was jack's 3rd birthday.

we celebrated last friday, but the day was yesterday.

a new birthday tradition that he immediately wanted taken down so he could play with the balloons. too cute.

his requested cars cake! 

jack and his little buddies who he's known since he was a baby. they are so cute together!

it was a chilly morning, but they insisted on being outside. so cute!

i love jack's face in this picture. 

singing happy birthday, his favorite part.

the spread.

even zoey was in on the birthday fun!

such a great group shot! and ellie! jack's little pal who is more like a sister/twin.

ellie's daddy and sister, carly with zoey. they're about two months apart. so cute!

post birthday fun. checking out our "punkin's"

it was strange to think that three years ago last night we welcomed (a little painfully) a beautiful, healthy baby boy into our lives. also, in history, the east coast was hit hard by hurricane Sandy last night. such a real and scary devastation. 

several times yesterday i paused to tell jack about when he was born. i told him how excited i was and how happy to meet him. i told him my tummy was so big and when i met him i cried. he cradled his three year old self in my arms and said, "pretend i'm your baby, mama." and so i did. i tickled and kissed and rocked this growing boy. kind of surprisingly (but not really because he has a baby sister now) he turned and said, "can i nurse, mama?" i smiled, but said. "that's okay. just pretend." and he giggled some more.

i know one day soon he'll be too big to fit into my arms (this boy is growin!) and i love having little moments like those.

like when he wants you to cuddle longer before he goes to sleep. today before nap he took my arm and said, "lay with me, mommy." oh, alright. i am a puddle.

he loves to sing songs and have his back tickled. his new favorite is "only a boy named david" though runner ups are "car song (life is a highway)", "Jesus loves me" and "Jesus loves the little children. with his daddy he sings "be thou my vision" and knows almost the entire song.

things are changing quickly. it was as if when he turned three his legs got longer, his arms longer and more than ever i felt like my baby boy had turned into a little boy over night. 

to keep with tradition, i thought i'd write a short note for him to read when he's old and grown. here are a few from his other two birthdays, year 2 and year 1

--

dear goose,

another year past and here we are. you are three! you're such a big boy. you are really great at going to the potty and even wake up at night to go! i am so proud of you. i know i say if often, so often that you say it with me when i say it, but i mean it. i am so proud of you and all your hard work.

you'll figure out number two. it's a little more challenging, but i know you can do it.

you and your sister have such a sweet friendship. already you make her smile like no one else can and she loves seeing you as soon as she wakes up. i can't wait to see the adventures you will go on together.

i love hearing you chatter. i love your questions and the way you tell me all about your day and plans about what you want to play. you have such a sweet spirit and love to go and do. 

i already see so much of a team-work spirit in you. i'd love to see you on a football team or a soccer team. you love playing with your buddies, but you aren't afraid to stand your ground and say when you don't want to do something. i admire that quality about you and can't wait to see how God uses it.

this week you started tree house children's church. i'm not sure if you loved it, but you went. so glad you did.

your daddy loves you so much and you guys have such a great time together going for walks and exploring the neighborhood. setting up trains and reading "car-zines" as you call them.

i love you, my buddy. i love hearing you say "you're my boy" when i say it to you. i love the way you ask me every day "what's your name?" and want me to go through each person's name that we know. i love the way you've begun to pretend with your cars. when you race around the family room making car noises. oh, bud. i love how much you love cars. 

i can't wait to see you grow for another year and all the ways you'll change and develop. you already love to sing the abc's and tell me all the colors. oh, goose, i just love you.

remember to sing to Jesus and thank Him for the little things in life that you love.

i love you and i'm so glad i had you.

all my love,

mama

p.s. i especially love how you say pinata as "pinchacha."

training

We decide to potty train Jack this weekend. We did an intense 3 day, no diapers only underwear kind of thing. It went, alright. He still hasn't gotten #2 down, but he was ready for go pee on the potty. 

It was a lot of work, but so worth it. He's so used to being asked if he has to potty, in fact, that he was pretending last night and told us his friend was "potty trainin'" He said he was playing on the playground. It was the first time I noticed him really pretend.

It was kind of bittersweet, this past weekend. I didn't realize or even think it would feel like that. I was more scared about pee everywhere and poop in the pants than the reality that my little goose was really growing up.

I found myself kind of irritable most of the day. Besides the obvious fact that hovering over a two year old is not an easy thing to do these days, I also realized that I was losing a little more of my baby that day. And it is only the beginning. I'm not sure if it was because he's a boy and I know from here on out, he'll need John a little more and me a little less. It's normal, it's good, it's growing, I just didn't expect it to sting a little. Literally every time I told him how proud I was of him and how much I loved him, I would tear up. I can be emotional, but I don't cry often. I found myself on the verge of crying most of the weekend and mostly out of joy. Relishing in the joy that we've made it this far with our little man and Lord willing we have many years to come, but what a good little guy he has become. He's my first born. He'll always, always hold such a special place in my heart. Poor guy gets the trial run for pretty much everything, but the love in his heart. Man, he has a lot of love in there. And so, so much grace. 

Where will he go in life? What will he want to learn? How can we best fuel his dreams and talents? Oh, Lord. Please give us lots of grace and wisdom on how to raise this precious kiddo. I'm so proud of him.

Lately he's kind of found his emotions and when he's really upset he'll go to his room and cry and talk while he's crying (I have a feeling he's a verbal processor. Kind of like his mama.) and when I go in there to talk to him he'll say to me, "Don't say me, mama! Don't say me." Which I think translates into "Don't talk to me." Which is fine. I've found myself letting him cry/rant as long as he needs to in his room until he's ready to come back out. Apart of me grins when he does it and another part of me is so thankful he's not a stuffer and his passion and frustration is there and he's not afraid to let it out. We'll see if that continues.

Potty training is just the beginning. Next it's learning how to ride a bike, going to children's church instead of the nursery, and one day school. I know it's meant to happen, but not sure how to better prepare myself that we let go a little every day. It's sad, but so necessary for them to grow and become their own person. Here goes nothin'.

zoey

sweet zoeybird...

8 months you turned last monday. 

8 months you've been in our lives and for those 8 months, our world has changed forever.

i love the new.

you are so sweet, so gentle, yet i can already tell the way you push away when you're on my hip that as soon as you can crawl you will explore every single inch of this house. youve waited 8 months for that, after all. i hope you find adventure and live it deeply.

and i'll also accept the late night party sessions you seem to want to have...every night. around 2am, life calls your name and you live it up, girl. you eventually fall back asleep, often by the help of a cuddle or a quick nurse, but for that hour and a half, you think it's daytime. 

why is that, i wonder? we're sleeping, don't worry. you aren't missing much.

i love the way you let jack roll on you, cuddle with you, squeeze your arm, put your binky in your mouth, feed you water. because, truly kid. he loves you something fierce. he can't wait until you can play with him. sometimes i notice how he is aching for a playmate. every morning you are greeted by a precious 

"hi zoey! did you sleep good?"

or when you cry, he asks.

"you okay, zoey? you okay." 

you and him have something special. i can tell.

and thank you, little birdie, for finally liking baby food. i didn't mind finger feeding you all the solids you wanted, but it really helps me (and keeps your tummy full, and lets your daddy help) when you enjoy a yummy spoonful of fresh pumpkin.

i love you, my sweet girl. 

i love the way your eyes sparkle when you smile. the way you scrunch your nose when you're really excited. i love the way you snuggle into me only when someone you don't know really well comes up to talk to you. 

i'm so glad i had you.

i can't wait to get to know your person, your likes and dislikes. i can't wait to hear you and jack pretend together and go for adventures in his tree house.

get ready, love, Jesus has some special plans for you. i just know it.

oh, but please don't grow up too fast. take your time. i love watching you grow.

sibling love

Today after Jack got up from eating lunch he said to me,

"Mom, I need to give Zoey hugs."

Oh my goodness.
These two.
I'd be lying if I didn't say I had huge hopes and dreams of them being little best buds. Siblings can be magical. They can also drive you crazy. But there's something about sharing the magic of childhood. The spontaneous sleepovers and shared traditions of Christmas morning and Friday night pizza. There's something so exciting about seeing them grow and learn each other.

I seriously have about 100+ pictures I want to post on here.

Will post more.
Probably shorter, but Zoey's only #2, she can't get blog-time jipped!