Я хочу кушать. Подайте, сколько можете.

...which really means " I want to eat. Will you give me whatever you can?." what an interesting question. and that, my dear friends, is where i am at in this moment.

...this moment. a simple phrases that has become pale with color due to the many uses that it has gone through. i use that phrase often, if any of you really know me. yet i've tried to stray from it for a while now. because it' s not the moment its the big picture, and where do we all fit into the big picture? the big picture. ah, yes. i was listening to a song on the good 'ol ipod that said "all i have in this world is more then a King could ever wish for." and it hit me. this reality that was decorated with Truth and Blessings and the next phrase that said "and I was born to kiss Your feet."

...i skipped my classes today, well, all of them but my english because the teacher stresses me out. ah, yes, i hear it from each one of you in your own ways. "mel, nothing can stress you out, you stress yourself out." well, alright. makes enough sense, right? no. let me paint the picture here: (although i am no artist) he's tall, lanky and has various colors of gray hair lined in oil. he's a charater...a man that prefers men over women and the intelligence that men seem to hold. he is a sports fanatic and perfector of writing. he walks like "jack" from "a nightmare before Christmas" and actually holds the same ambience as him. he is a hidden blessing.
...back to the moment and the big picture. it's Jesus. i really believe simply and completely it's Jesus and there is nothing more that we can try to fit into it because the minute we do we drain it of its Truth. so as far as the moments go and how to live them and experience them it comes to a point where the bible says in 1 corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." or in Russian ^"31Итак, едите ли, пьете ли, или иное что делаете, все делайте в славу Божию." and in doing that everything will seem to turn back to Him. incredible.
...so i am twenty years old today and i dont feel any different or look any different but im ready for it. every other birthday ive sort of dreaded the aging and the changes that happen but i think i'm finally ready. as i once wrote on someone's driveway, "everyone dies but not everyone truly lives." (what movie is that from?) who else is ready to begin living?