like a bitter stranger...

...now i see the long the short and whats in between...

this past couple of weeks i've had two people that i care deeply for and respect their opinions greatly inform me that i was wrong. now, to some people this is not very harsh, but i have a small issue of this. it takes a lot for me to mumble out that i was wrong (most call it pride) and Jesus and i are working on that. these two people (one being my mother and the other Rachel) informed me they were sorry for my opinions on two certain people because i disliked them, but they (mom and Rachel) liked them and thought i was wrong . this, for me, put me slightly on the defense, but i tried to understand. what is this and why did i get so defensive? "no," i responded. "i do like them, i don't hate them." and yet i knew i had influenced their opinion of these two people because of my feelings of them. this is not right. what is Jesus trying to teach me? and why, even after i think this, are they still both a joke to me?
...who is the bitter stranger? the friend lost who refuses to speak to me or the one who does speak, but with a bitter smile and fake interest? which is worse? both, i feel are detestable before Jesus but yet i do them both. when both rachel and my mother told me that i was wrong (both within about a week of the other) about these people i realized i was, in fact, and yet i had spent so much of the non existent friendship with these strangers disliking them for silly and big reasons that i didn't even know if i gave them a chance if i would like them. its no fun to be bitter or a stranger to people. Jesus is working.