tail gatin'

This picture just swells my heart with joy. Those little chocolate faces, the red straps, the warm spring breeze (that quickly turned chilly after we ate the ice cream ;)

Some nights when John gets home we try to do something to burn that hour-energy before bedtime. some nights we declare an adventure and drive through the hills. This particular night the kids were bathed, each wore an outfit of choice and we were off to get ice cream from Trader Joe's.

I didn't really think about Jack not wearing shoes as we left the house. We wouldn't leave the car after all, right?

And there we were. In the mall parking lot, full of prom attendees and busy folks. We parked at the top of a hill and watched the sun set and the clouds move. It was beautiful.

Of course it lasted all of about 10 minutes before Z wanted to go explore the back of the cruiser and Jack declared that he was freezing and needed to go peepee.

So, in true mama-bear form, I whisked him from the car, shoeless and in firefighter gear to the ladies room. Something he despises, by the way. He isn't a girl, so why should he go to the girls room? It's always a fight.

So, despite my best efforts, I had to put his little bare feet on the ground (gross!) and let him go. As well as wrestle under his coat to get those suspenders off. No easy feat, folks. 

He giggled the whole time and wanted to blow dry his hands after he washed them. Why of course, buddy.

I wondered as we raced through the crowded restaurant why people kind of looked at us. Could it be that we used the bathrooms even though we hadn't eaten there? (sorry Roadhouse) no, it must have been the gear. Or a barefoot four year old.

fixer upper

Today on the way to church Jack asked me a very serious question.

 "Mom, what is a fixer-upper?" Like most of the world, we've been watching Frozen since Christmas and like his mother, Jack obsesses over a song, one song at a time. Never more than one, mind you. First it was, Do You Want to Build A Snowman? THEN Let It Go and now, Fixer Upper.

(for those of you who haven't seen it, here ya go.)


When he asked me that question I knew it was an opportunity to explain my not-so-awesome mommy behavior earlier that day. I thought it might be a teachable moment for our little guy.

"Well, it means that we're not perfect, that we need a little work done. We're all fixer uppers, buddy. That's why mommy sometimes loses her temper…she's a fixer upper too. That's why I need Jesus."

He thought for a minute.

"Daddy isn't really fixer upper because he only yells sometimes, but you yell more, right mommy?"

"Well, um, yes. But mommy is home with you more and maybe if daddy were home all day he might be more of a fixer upper too."

He took that answer just fine and we continued to talk about needing Jesus to fix us so we can be more like Him. I told him every one is a fixer upper from the time they're born since they need Jesus to fix them.

Jack then asked a series of questions about why Kristoff was a fixer upper. I tried to explain that he lived by himself and he didn't have many friends (to which he replied, Yes he did! The fixer upper troll friends!)

It was a really funny moment over all. Never risk a chance to give a Jesus example through a Disney movie!

about time

I saw this first video a couple of days ago and just loved what it stood for.

It reminded me of this movie, which came out in the fall of last year (SUCH a good movie, by the way.) They go together nicely, I'd say.

jack and preschool

my little man started one day a week of pre-school.

because, like his parents, this guy is social and loves to learn. 

his teacher is a kind, loving woman who has known him since he was a tiny baby and wouldn't let any one else hold him but mom. she was the only one in the nursery who could get him to stop crying.

she got him.

i'd be lying if i didn't say that was my main reason for putting him in school in the march. i didn't want him to miss a little time with mrs. johnson. 

he loves going to school and loves doing little workbooks and getting prizes and playing with his buddy casen on the playground. he loves to learn, like truly loves it, and as much as i miss having him home (yes, even for that morning once a week) i know it's time.

but, come on. where did my baby go?

i wish i knew him then like i did now. i wasn't yet convinced that they are who they are even at 1 and it's just helpful when they turn four and can tell you all the hundreds of things they've had going around in their mind.

he's always been spirited, a thinker, a feeler, a learner. he's always been our jack.

and now he asks to look at the moon and stars and lay on his floor before bedtime. he wants to know how big the sun is and how big the earth is and how it's round and if it is than why is our house flat. he wants to know about trees and cars and trucks and boats and how they all work and what makes me them go. i can't believe he's held these questions in for this long! ;)

and the boy loves to pretend. he could run his cars around the house all day and make "ahh" falling noises and crash them into the wall or each other or his sister. (depending on the day)

i really love this age and i love discovering more and more of who he is.

i love you, jackboy.

dreams

I have this reoccurring dream that a storm is coming (most often a tornado,  but sometimes a huge snow storm.) and I am frantically gathering a bunch of random belongings (pictures, antiques, things that can't be replaced) and putting them into basements, into the house to be safe, or into a car if we are being forced to evacuate our house. I watch the storm approach, full of excitement and fear, and try to make sure we're all safe.

I'm not sure why I have that dream so often, but I do. Could be my intense love for weather and the beauty and unpredictability it could bring. My pal Teri would say it's a way of trying to control the unknown and wanting to.
I could see the latter, most definitely.

A few days ago Jack came bouncing into our room at way-too-early o'clock and jumped onto our bed.

"Mom! I had a dream a snake was coming to attack me, but then he started talking to me and we became friends!"  (p.s. kind of scary he had a dream about a snake trying to befriend him, but so it goes. He has a love/fear of snakes.)

Well done, my son. Shifting the story in your dream is a hard task and one that takes a lot of dreaming practice.

He often tells me of his wild and crazy adventures in his dreams. I love hearing about them. John isn't a big night-time dreamer (he spends all his time dreaming in the day and actual future ;)

I wonder what Zoey dreams…I can't wait to find out.

that time of year again...

for some of the sappiest, but most precious mother's day videos ever.







you can just never have too many of those ;)

songs

I love how songs can take you back to a place that you haven't visited in a while.

I somehow burned a copy of an old, old mix cd that has sat on my iTunes playlist for, I don't know how long. It took me back, man. Like, took me back to driving around in my old '89 Honda hatchback right before I met John and right before everything changed. I had some serious angst going on back then, let me tell you what. John and I listened to it and I told him how "teen angst" it was, although I wasn't a teen anymore, so mostly just a whole lotta angst. We laughed and held hands and then I realized, he isn't in those memories. It's strange as our journey together grows deeper, those memories apart become less and less. Those songs take me to a place that he can't go. And songs that hold memories without my kiddos. I'm thankful for those flashbacks, but also thankful that some of that angst has lessened to just sleep deprivation. Haha.

I'm bout to start a little series of different songs and the journey they take me on. If this is going to represent some sort of journal for my kid's some day, then they might want to know the songs that changed me life.

Here's the first song on the playlist. Still so good, still love it.

//

this little miss kept me up a whole lot last night. She has pink eye and for some reason was in the most pain of her life (my vote is sista didn't care for the eyecrusties that happen when you have green goop coming out of your eye.) She has a little bit of a….dramatic flare (not sure where she gets that) but she doesn't enjoy pain, or the thought of it, and spent a lot of time doing gymnastics in bed and crying and wanting to be walked around and rocked and cradled and cuddled.

I really didn't mind. Those moments go so quickly, friends. And pain in a little two year old is so sad to see. Even if it's mostly discomfort. I get that! 

    I see some teen angst in this girl's future. That face.

    I love Jack's face in this picture, like…wait a second, who is up in my business?

   haha. they were just waking up from a nice nap.

these pictures were from a while ago. Still catching up and rekindling my love for this whole blog thing. You're welcome, kids. Sorry mom is inconsistent with her blogging. 

calm before the storm

This is how many Sunday afternoon end up. The kiddos are awake, John is resting (actually sleeping, whose kidding?) and it isn't long before the covers are kicked off and little feet start a jumping!

There's just enough time for me to capture a few pictures. 

oh, little clan, we've been talking lately about the future hopes and plans and the idea of adoption and what adoption means. Jack is very very curious (he's like Curious George's cousin, though he can talk.) and asks about 5,000 questions a day, and he's really good at eavesdropping so whenever we have a conversation, he asks a dozen questions in the midst of often times a private conversation. We've had to start spelling our words (that might not work for long.) I love how curious he is and John and I both try to be really intentional with giving him honest and clear answers. 

So, Jack asks a lot about adoption and what it means and even though we tell him we're praying for a little sister, he always tells me, "you mean a brother." without skipping a beat. We've also been talking a lot about other languages and cultures and how not everyone speaks English. He still disagrees and thinks the only two languages spoken are English and Spanish and he can speak both. hahaha.

I told him about little Dema in Ukraine and how he was Jack's age when I met him and he couldn't speak English, but he spoke to me in Russian all the time. Jack just giggles when I speak to him in Russian.

praying that life gets a little bit crazier and beds get a little bit fuller too.

i missed Christmas!

We tried to be intentional this Christmas and be all-in with our kiddos. We did a little advent tree and had a list of fun Christmas-season things to do. (note to self, don't overwhelm yourself or you will dislike the month of December.) We visited Christmas lights around town (perhaps a few times a week) and watched Christmas movies and made Christmas cookies. I did almost all my Christmas shopping on amazon which made the season even more delightful! A pain deep in my heart will always be the lack of actual winter here in AZ. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for beautiful weather, but it just doesn't feel like Christmas without snow. At least our kiddos don't know anything different ;) This winter was especially warm, but we cranked the heat and turned on Christmas music as often as we could. We watched the Polar Express on a regular basis and White Christmas at least once a week (you think I'm kidding.) We watched it enough for Jack to learn this song.

This Christmas Eve I made John's favorite ham and cheese rolls his Grandma made when he was a kiddo and our kids loved it! (which is a rare thing in our little fam.) We kept some nice and warm in tin foil until daddy got home, but couldn't wait for him to eat. I also made this delicious potato soup (per a friend's recipe) and we chowed down for days on that.

Get ready for picture overload.

It amazes me how much Jack has grown even since these pictures were taken.

We also rode on the Polar Express with Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Justin, Aunt Leilani, Aunt Maggie and cousins Andy and Aaron. It was so much fun! Grandma and Papa came up early to make cookies with us. 

this is just so them.

our ham and cheese rolls. we may or may not be watching a veggie tale christmas movie.

Christmas morning!

that's a fake fire, for the record.

 our birdie was happy to just chow on raisins.

these two were busy for hours.

and little miss had to remove both her's and her dolly's clothes.

merry Christmas in April!!!!!!