they do this thing...

We were at home depot yesterday and Zoey did the cutest thing ever.

(side note: she hasn't seen Mary Poppins yet. And doesn't she look like a preview of her teenage self? Slow down, little one!)

We were in the garden section and she is looking up at the birds and listening to them sing. I see her lift up her hand and I think, how cute!

After expressing her need to go to the bathroom she asks me on the way, "Mama? Why birdies don't land on my finger??" the poor girl really though the birds would land on her little finger if she held it out for them. Oh, man. Keep believing, little one.

Jack, my little leader and one who loves friends, he keeps changing on me. And getting smarter and learning words like "claritin" and "hindenberg blimp" ---this boy. I tell you what. He's full of adventure and energy and such deep feelings. They surface often and if I'm careful enough, he'll share them with me. If I respond harshly he's quick to shut them down. It's a tough balance, learning this little guy. What a gift to be his mama. What deep questions he has and most sincere prayers to Jesus. Thanking Him for everything he has, good and bad.

I love watching his friendships grow and his little person learn that you can't decide what you're going to play all the time, and how to take turns deciding. That's a tough deal when you're five, lets be real.

I had my first semi-goodbye time with dear friends here in our mountain town. 

It's so tough to think of living life away from these dear friends.

What all we'll miss out on and the little friendships our kiddos share. 

Forever I will be so thankful for this season with them and so many others. 

zoey turns 3!

What a girl, our Zoey.
What a kindred little soul.
a lover of laughter, jokes, being chased, all things puppy, babies, every animal (even bugs) her blanket, sparkly things, purple tshirts, chap stick, jewelry, nail polish and strong desire to get her ears pierced.

my little bird has grown into a lively, passionate, kind, friendly little girl.

three years has gone SO very fast. too fast, if you ask me.
it feels like just yesterday that i was holding her for the first time at the hospital.
i was so scared, scared to have a daughter and scared to have a newborn again.
i wish i could tell then-mel to relax a bit and that she would be just fine. but ya know, you just can't tell a new mom certain things. how could i have known that she would be a very easy going baby? that she would be full of joy and life from the very beginning?

i also didn't know that she would need physical therapy, the cutest little braces i ever did see and would be a speedy potty trainer. how can you predict such things?

oh, my. she lights up my world, ya'll.
she is so precious and hilarious. such a little cheese ball.
i read amy poehler's book recently and she wrote what she was like as a baby and i couldn't help but see similarities and it was then that i prayed and hoped that she would grow up to be a comedian just like amy. haha. okay, not just like amy, but similar would be fun.

we had a puppy party for her 3rd birthday. complete with puppy bowls (that she continues to request to eat out of) and the cutest little puppy balloons. 

Zoey actually got a bad ear infection the day of her birthday (complete with a trip to urgent care) but grandma and grandpa were up so we had a mini celebration and rescheduled her party until the following week. 

it was so, so fun.

happy birthday to my beautiful Birdie,

I love watching you grow up, hearing your opinions develop, see you mercy heart so early, and see also your deep loyalty to those that you care about. You are a girl all your own, Zoey, and I can already see your courage and your kindness as two of our greatest gifts. 

I saw Cinderella in the theater a few days ago and all I could think of was you and how much she reminded me of you. Your core is kind, my girl, and yet you are brave and courageous too. I pray that as you grow you will hold tight to those two core traits that you were given. You will do such great things and love and meet so many wonderful people on your journey. 

Happy 3rd Birthday, Zoeybird, I can't wait to watch you grow! I love you!

Mama

lately

today is been a day to slow down it on down.

Zoey has had a high fever and so we have spent the majority of the day on the couch, running the thermometer over her forehead (like a crazy lady, cause that is what I do. Not proud of it.) watching Paw Patrol, eating and drinking as often as she can. I really, really dislike when my kiddos are sick. It scares me so much. However, this time and for the first time in my mama-hood, I feel like I have a deep peace that they are going to be okay. That she is strong and brave and her body can kick whatever comes her way. We found out last week that our little birdie needs tubes put in her ears. That was scheduled for Thursday, but with the high fever we've had to postpone it. For who knows how long she has heard life as if she were under water. What a bummer for our life-loving girl! I will not deny that I love the snuggles and cuddles on the couch and as she falls asleep. She's growing up so fast.

We also miss our little one in Haiti so, so much. I think about her all the time and wonder how she's doing and feeling and growing and what she's learning. We get occasional updates which do my heart such good. She is thriving and seems to be so happy and strong.

A big change is about to happen for our little fam and as bittersweet as it is, we're anticipating great growth as John recently took a job as a teaching pastor in residence at Venture Christian Church in Los Gatos, California. Our hearts feel so sad to leave behind our family at Cornerstone, beautiful mountain town and all of our dear family and friends, but John and I both feel deep in our hearts that this is where we're meant to go. Change is never easy, but it is the one constant in life and so we embrace it, move forward and pray for a smooth transition and an armful of adventure.

I was nervous about telling the kids, I'll be honest. I don't handle change well and I, again, realized I was about to project my feelings of deep dislike for change onto my kids. I knew I was faced with a crossroads as I practiced how I would tell them. I could cry and be sad and fear their response and the disruption that this would cause on their little lives. Or, we could celebrate what God is doing, anticipate all the new that California would be and reflect so fondly on our season here, but also look forward to all that will happen there. It wasn't easy, especially for sentimental me, but to my great surprise, my kindred-soul son looked up at me and John and replied, "Okay! When do we go? Can we bring our beds with us?"

So there you have it. Too young to realize the great change that awaits, but adventurous enough to dare the leap even if it means to leave behind all that is familiar and comfortable and wonderful. I've done it so many times and each time does get a little easier, except for saying goodbye to dear friends (and family) that were made along the journey. I have such a deep love and appreciation for good friends, authentic conversation and lots of laughter. Along the road I've met so many wonderful kindred spirits that I will forever hold so close to my heart. Every goodbye has not been easy, but Jesus is always so faithful to provide friendships in every change of season. The length of friendship varies, but that is what is so beautiful about life and people, they are every where and all it takes is listening and loving.

It's the starting over that is hard. Reintroducing yourself. again and again. And yet there's something beautiful about that too. A fresh start and a chance to do different what you wish you had done. A chance to really remember that Jesus is and always will be all that the depths of my soul needs. As much as I like to think I need to fill it with friendships, He's the only one that can fill that (bottomless pit, let's be honest. ha!)

So who knows what this next journey will bring? The unknowns sometimes keep me up at 3am, but lately I've realized that whatever it is, it will be good. Especially because our Jesus leads us and our little tribe gets to go together.