This week was a doozy.

It's been one of those weeks where at the end of it, I look at John and wonder how on earth we got through it? By God's grace only, because there were times I thought, "Yeah, I don't think I can make it through this one. See ya." 

Monday I went in for my appointment and my very kind and loving Doctor, but also a little paranoid and medicine-lovin' couldn't find the heartbeat right away. Which, to me, at 12 weeks and with the very tipped uterus I have, didn't concern me. But she was. That makes a mama concerned. Even at 12 weeks. She tried an old-school machine and we saw our little one, looking as real as ever. "I think that's the heart beat." She said apprehensively after 2.5 minutes of looking. She ordered an ultrasound for 4pm that day. My appointment was at 10:15. Thankfully, I'm used to such run arounds with our caring doc and tried to write it off that she was just being extra cautious and extra kind so that I would have a peace of mind. At 4pm I smiled and waved at my little one as their legs kicked and their heart beat high. Just like her/his mama's. The tech worked really hard to around my pelvic bone and just said, "I just really don't like your uterus." Thanks. I laughed. I saw the heartbeat, the kicking legs and the profile of our newest little one. My heart melted. I feel like it's a girl. I will be delighted if it's a boy, but I have this strange sense that it's a girl. The pregnancy is just so different than with Jack.

Monday night arrived and along with it came a horrible ear infection. Worse than the one I had only 2 months ago. The second one in two months. After six years of not having one. That isn't normal, is it? It was horrendous and after a restless night, a little vomiting and a cute Colin Hanks and John Malcovich movie, I found my ear was actually bleeding. That had never happened before. It was scary. So, I went to an ENT here in town who took me right in (which is a miracle) and he informed me he didn't like my eardrums and that I had a very serious infection. It was bad, ya'll. Like, a hole in my ear drum bad. I still can't hear out of it. He said that should change in about 10 days. Praise Jesus that is over and please, please, Lord help me never to have an ear ache like that again.

My mom and sister came to the aid the next day and arrived with love and groceries in hand. They let me rest and helped with Jack, oh and my mom cleaned out my entire fridge and organized my cabinets. It was delightful. I've been meaning to clean that fridge cause every time I open it, it kind of smells and I kind of want to puke. So thankful to my mom for all her help and making me feel like I could really put my feet up.

Oh, and my man has been a champ as well. He's helped so much. I'm kind of in emergency-mode these days. Between limited hearing which makes me feel dizzy and nausea that doesn't seem to leave unless I'm sleeping, I feel like I'm just trying to make it until, Lord willing, these season passes. We're at 13 weeks tomorrow. Hopefully in another week it will start to ease up a bit. And hopefully, by Christmas I'll look a little bit like this. Though, hopefully not this huge.

In good news, I've been deeply enjoying a Masterpiece Classic called Downton Abbey. Which is on netflix instant. Which is an incredible show. I am quite obsessed and often hear their accents in my head. It's been so long since I've used a proper accent. It's been a great distraction and nothing too heavy to burden the days.





Also, while in Phoenix, my mom and I left our flip flops outside. This is what the Phoenix heat does to flip flops, apparently, when left in the sun. Way too small and shriveled like a piece of bacon. Craaaazy.

July

Time has flown so quickly.

Where was I?

Ah, yes. Spending the summer full of hot days and cooled off nights. The monsoons arrived. They were welcomed with open arms and celebrated each afternoon as the clouds rolled in, Jack napped and I camped out to watch the dark, waving clouds of moisture move towards us only to pass over and head somewhere else. 

Some days we got light thunder. Other days we got random downpours. One night John and I cuddled up and watched a full storm sweep over us. It was strong and bold and so beautiful. The lightning was intense. It took away our internet, which was for the better. It allowed us to shut off the movie we were watching and give the storm our full attention. Storms have a tendency to kind of need that. Kind of like kids.

Fourth of July came and went, but boy, was it great. We went to the world's oldest Rodeo and celebrated with a feast of all American food. BBQ chicken, potato salad, watermelon and blackberry pie for dessert. My parents, my brother and his family came up for the day and the monsoons hit around 2pm. It rained most of the day, but that was okay. It really cooled things off and wasn't bad enough to cancel the rodeo. Time with family was a blessing. A nice nap was also enjoyed while the guys watched Prison Break. Most-stressful-show-ever.

This picture was taken while  I was trying to convince my patient man to take another picture. He obviously ran out of patience.

During our little retreat we also ordered a sub from walmart to help feed our house guests. My ever-practical and penny pincher hubby insisted on paying for a 6 foot sub because it was only 5 bucks more than a 4 foot. There are no words to share this picture, but just to say that is the 6 foot sub. All 7 and a half feet of it! John is 5'11. That sub was intense and gave my mom and I a good laugh when we picked it up at Wal-mart. Still, for 25 bucks, you can't beat all that food. Was it good? Why yes. Was it good after a couple of days? Well, no.

We also had surprise (because of my forgetful memory) guests from back East. Four travelers came our way on a cross-country road trip and one of them was my very dear pal, Kate. When I'm with her it's as if no time has passed. We reunite. We laugh, we joke, we use accents, we share funny stories, pour our hearts out until everything broken and bruised is wrapped with Love and grace and somehow life is much brighter after such a short visit with my dear friend. I wish she lived closer, I wish the Bronx wasn't so far and I wish that I had a magical capsule that could allow us to visit whenever we wanted. It was good to listen to good music with her, watch a few funny movies and share a trip to Costco in a downpour.

Oh and Jack? He's growing along. He loved the four guests and you would have thought he was in heaven. All this attention. All this love from ladies who work with kids every day. He was so lovin' it. But oh, did he have to remind them every 10 seconds that I was mama and dad was dada. Seriously, he said it about every five minutes.

Last week Jack and I spent a few days at Grandma and "Pa's" house for a little getaway. Why the getaway is to hot Phoenix, I do not know, but it was great. Jack had a blast. It was great to see my mom's parents for a little bit too. It's beautiful to watch age at the other end of life and to see how they look back on their lives full of joy and great memories.

Jack loved playing with his little cousins and the train set that grandma has there.

 He also loved swimming in the pool in his birthday suit and trying to figure out if this was a bath or what. He's really becoming his own little person and identifying things when he sees them. Pointing out the animals he loves, the tv shows he adores and when he wants water or his binky. I love watching him process what I'm saying and seeing how he reacts (or chooses not to.) He's a free spirit, that little guy.

I'm still feeling really sick, but praying that at the 14 week mark things will lighten up. As much as I'm thankful for each day that I feel sick, I do look forward to days of not dreading what to make for dinner and what to snack on that won't make me want to puke. But praise Jesus, we are at 12 weeks tomorrow. We're almost there.
 



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