Today is Jack's second birthday. As in, two years ago right now I was recovering on a hospital bed, starring at my newborn little boy, chatting with the night nurses, relieved that the pain was over and yet in complete awe of what had just happened. John stayed with Jack while they bathed him and checked him from head to toe. I was so, so exhausted and all I remember was a friendly nurse (who we had bought most of our baby stuff from) was on call and came in to congratulate me. I was in such a weird state that all I remember was my eyes were crying, but I wasn't. I couldn't stop the tears from flooding my cheeks. I was seriously exhausted.
Two years later, we are to today and Jack has the croup. We were up a lot last night trying to ease his cough. He's hoarse and clingy and wants to watch Cars all day. And today he did. Around 2am this morning I paced the steamy bathroom with him in my arms and prayed and thanked Jesus that we are the blessed ones to see this little guy grow. I can't believe how long his legs have grown and how his smile has turned from a round baby grin to this toddler expression that is filled with wonder and excitement for life. (Oh, and a regular tantrum as well.) Somehow he has survived two years (and somehow we have too ;) and I feel so honored to be his mama.
Last night the three of us lay sleepless in bed, trying to coax Jack back to sleep. I was worrying (I can get a little carried away when I lose sleep) and John was calm. Oh, so calm. Jack sounded like his little throat was closing in and I was almost sure an ER visit was in our near future. I'd rest my hand on his chest and feel his little heart pounding, hard, trying to keep up. In the dead of night we heard a truck drive by and a hoarse, pacifier voice say "Truck? Truck."
"I think he's going to be fine." John mumbled. Back to bed Jack went and slept until 9 this morning. (Lovely!)
Even though his little birthday shin-dig had to be canceled, I was so thankful for my visiting parents, a "doe-doe" (donut) breakfast and a couple of presents to celebrate this little guy's life.
My dear goose,
Today you turned two. You ate a chocolate sprinkle donut and had us sing 'happy birthday' twice because you loved it so much. You didn't sleep well and still had a bad cough, but wanted only your "doe-doe" to eat all the same. You played trains and cars with your papa and requested to watch Cars all day long. Your party was canceled this year, but hopefully we'll celebrate next week.
You have discovered your little vocabulary and have so many opinions that I wonder how you've kept in this long. Your recent favorites are phrases like, "Mine." "Help, mama." "Daddy go?" " Mommydaddy." and other things you pick up from our random conversations. You are going to become a big brother in a few months and I can't wait to see you with your own little sibling. You love people (and kids as you call them) so much and a day doesn't go by that you request to play with someone. (That, you may or may not get from me. ;) You are full of life and energy and love your (two) cars. I can't believe how fast two years has gone, I feel like you've been in our lives forever.
I am so glad I had you.
Last October I thought you were so big and growing so fast. I had no idea how much you would change in only one more year.
You and your daddy love your time together. You guys make such a great team.
February was a little difficult for us as we lost a baby early on in the pregnancy. You were such a great reminder to me that God's timing is so perfect and His healing hand is so consistent. I am so, so thankful for the extra months we've had together just the two of us.
This coming February we will rejoice with the birth of your baby sister!
You love to help daddy with the coffee in the morning.
Where did this little boy come from? You changed so much (and got your first haircut.)
and here we are, in Michigan just a week ago.
I pray you will use your strengths for His kingdom and that you will seek Jesus with your whole life. I pray for boldness, strength, discernment and protection.
Thanks for being you and keeping me on my toes. Sleep well tonight and heal up. I miss my silly goose.